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| Conservation of Soul Posted by: Jayce Silence Rebel at 11-08-2016 17:25 PM, Last Modified 11-08-2016 17:25 PM |
First Thoughts
As most stories of this type go, I believe the correct introduction is “A long time ago in a far away land." But the thing is, it didn't happen a long time ago in a far away land. It happened right here on a planet called Earth to a regular schmuck, me. Now from everything I've been able to understand, from a scientific standpoint everything makes semi-perfect sense. There is a principle in physics called the conservation of energy. This principle states that the total energy of an isolated system remains constant at all times. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed; rather, it transforms from one form to another. If we carry this constant into the idea of life and the soul then we can infer that when we die, our energy has to go someplace. Since it cannot be destroyed, then it must be changed; but into what? If we look at the rule that energy can neither be created nor destroyed then it must be recycled. If we take this a step further and establish now that the life essence of a person or an animal, we can even call it a soul, is energy then we can postulate that there are only a finite amount of souls to go around and therefore the soul would need to be recycled into another person when they are born. This would mean that the soul would need to be scrubbed clean of past memories and experiences so that it may start anew in its new host. I think though, that a soul can only be cleaned so many times and only imperfectly at that; some things will never wash away and therefore carry over into the new host. If the amount of energy, and therefore souls, in the universe is finite, then it would stand to reason that other sentient species throughout the universe also share the same soul energy as we do on Earth. This would explain phenomenon like past life regressions, strange dreams of things that have never happened and how a chunk of society feels wrong in their own bodies in some way. This encompasses the realm of the transgendered, the furry genre, the therians, the otherkin and anyone I may be missing in my thoughts. This would also explain the science fiction and fantasy genre of literature for while we laud authors on their originality, perhaps they are simply channeling past lives and experiences in the form of a really good book.
Of course these are all just my personal thoughts, but I do have a substantial amount of experience to draw from. Let's say that something happens, that every experience, every life that a soul has lived somehow all came back. That it was not truly scrubbed clean, but blocked from the next host. What would happen if these flood gates were burst wide and the tide of memories came back? Would this cause madness? Would this explain those we deem crazy and their odd ramblings about things that we do not believe exist? The mind is an infinite thing, but also very fragile. There is such a thing as information overload. When too much information is presented to an individual, portions of the brain will shut down to either help in the assimilation of the information, or shut down entirely to save the sanity of the individual to which the information was presented. Would this hypothesis not explain a human’s imagination? What if, that imaginary friend you had as a child was really a previous version of yourself talking to you so that your psyche could handle the new information without cracking like an egg? It would also explain why certain people are ‘naturals’ at a certain thing; because a past experience or life already knew and understood it. What if the barriers that kept the memories separate were broken by an entity, a soul, which was stronger than the others? Remember that matter is energy, and therefore subject to transformation, as is any other energy. There is an old saying, ‘We are all but the sum of our past experiences.’ I believe that also includes the experiences of our past lives. Here is how I know...
I had the dream again. I dreamt of sitting around a fire with my kith and kin. I dreamt of my mate who prepared food by the fire as the young ones romped and played. The sound of their yips and youthful, squeaky growls, making me laugh and smile at their antics. My tail snaked out to catch the youngest, the troublemaker of the pair, and holding him dangling upside down from my tail in front of my face as he tried to growl ferociously at me in a squeaky voice. I only laugh and bathed his face with my tongue which caused him to go from growling to giggling. I dreamt of my family and clan around me, the feeling of belonging of being accepted. I dreamt of flying, the muscles in my chest and back a pleasant burn as I climbed higher on the night air. Two moons, one blue and one brilliant white, crest the night's horizon, making the clouds glow in their light. The wind whistles through my fur and horns, caressing every part of me; my tail acting as a rudder to steer my flight through the cold, moist glow of the clouds. Of my tribe, only one in twelve are born with the wings of flight. We are called the Korrrrona’stha the protectors of the People and the land. We perch on the mountain ledges and watch the veiled lands beyond. We watch for the Durrrakini’hi, the shadow wings. They are the dark spirits that come from the veiled lands beyond to steal the lives and souls of the People, the Korrrona. We fight the Durrrakini’hi with fang, and claw, and fire. To emphasize these thoughts I instinctively trigger a secondary organ deep inside expelling a stream of chemicals from my muzzle which, when mixed with the surrounding air, catch fire and burn with a blue flame so intense, it can melt the strongest of steel. A young Korrrona’stha learns very quickly to never aim their scorrratha, their soul flame, directly ahead of them while flying, or risk burning the fur from their muzzles. I take my perch on the High Watch overlooking the veiled lands. I grip the ledge of rock tightly with my sharply clawed feet, the toes digging gouges in the rock for purchase. I crouch there wrapping my wings around me for warmth in the cold mountain winds. I keep my nose questing the night air for the maligned scent of the Durrrakini’hi, my long prehensile tail anchored to an anchor rod sunk deep into the rock. Here I wait patiently, for it is my honor and my privilege to protect the People. The hours drag on as complacency settles into my bones a bit. They will not attack tonight, it is too close to sunrise now, they cannot survive the fire of the sun, it burns them as cleanly as scorrratha, and they would not dare this late in the night. lam wrong... To my left soul fire illuminates the night, first one then two then ten. The Durrrakini’hi come in numbers unheard of since olden times. They come for blood; they come to steal the lives of the People! I take wing and dive towards a carrion flock of them, their shadowed bodies’ serpent like in the night, emaciated alien shapes the twitch and jerk with movement and hunger. I dive by the lead spraying scorrratha into its face and it screams as it catches fire and plummets to the rocks below to die. The rest give chase, their sibilant hisses and whispers of sound chasing after me. I tuck and roll in the air and, falling backwards now, I release another jet of scorratha into the face of the lead, the first lands true and splashes on those behind it, they scream and start to fall, I turn to dive away but something catches my wing. I turn and see a burning Durrrakini’hi, mad eyes gleaming with balefire latched onto my left wing and with a screaming hiss of triumph, rips the wing from my back. The pain, the burning agony rolls through me causing everything to white out for a moment as I plummet to the ground. I come back to myself a spare moment before my body hits the rocks below, my body breaking and ruined. Forgive me my People, I did my best to protect you. Be safe and live my mate, my cubs. Then there is darkness.
Just like always I wake up on the ground by my bed, the last part of the dreams always causes me to roll off the bed and the time I would hit the rocks below I would hit the floor and wake up with a whoof of expelled breath. I laid there breathing hard, sweat cooling on my brow. Everything in the bedroom seems bright and crystal clear for a few moments and then goes back to being dark again. I've had this dream as far back as I can remember. I've even been to a couple of shrinks to find out what it means. They seem to think I am stressed and it's just my mind's way of dealing with it. I argue that it shouldn't be the exact same dream every time. They tell me that it probably isn't and that I am imagining the sameness of the dreams. I stopped going to the shrinks after that. I looked up at where my phone was and reaching up I triggered the clock function. The muted blue numbers tell me its only three AM. I untangle myself from the sheets and walk into the bathroom and take note of my disheveled appearance in the mirror, the plumpness that comes from working a desk job in the IT industry and the look in my eyes that seems much older than anyone of 32 years should have. I used to be in shape. I was in the military for nine years and the enforced regiment of exercise kept most of the weight off but this civilian life packed it back on faster than I liked. I should go on a diet, I should go to a gym, but the drive really isn't there. A niggling voice in the back of my mind always tells me ‘What does it matter? You don't have to do anything to feed yourself or house yourself. You give someone money and you have a roof over your head and food in the pantry. Besides, at 32 and divorced, do you really want to start all of that over again? All of the dating, the courting, and the winnowing your way through all of the wrong people again? No you really don't do you... Besides, you're about three levels of weirder than anyone else you know and to find a suitable mate, you'd have to hide that weirdness again. It didn't go so well last time did it?’ I hate my inner voice, it always sounds so logical. Well, I was going to be getting up in two hours anyway to get ready for work, so might as well stay up and maybe actually MAKE breakfast instead of buying it at work. I went ahead and got a shower, shaved and generally got ready for work. I made my way downstairs and managed to scrape together a respectable breakfast. I took my coffee mug to the back patio, leaving the lights off, and sat down to watch the sky start to brighten slightly in the East. I lit a cigarette and took a long drag off it. (Yes I know they are unhealthy, now go mind your own business.) I sat there enjoying my nicotine and caffeine, the dreams still playing flashes of images in my mind. The first few times I'd had this dream as a young child, I had woken up crying. My parents had thought I had had a nightmare. After years of this same dream, it had almost become an old friend even if I had no clue why I was having it.. It may have been those dreams that led me to different Internet sites that talked about things like therianthropy, otherkin, the furry genre, and a plethora of other odd things that had caught my eye. I had joined chat sites and forum boards and read other people's experiences with things like I had been experiencing but for every post out there, there was someone trolling or flaming a fight calling it all sorts of nasty things. That is why I mainly lurked. Oh I chatted in a few more well established chat rooms that had better security. I even made a fairly passing group of friends, even if they were only virtual friends. There was a small sub chatroom that was loosely associated with a main chatroom where only a few select members were invited to talk. After spending a few years on the main site and talking with a few people privately and sharing my story and the dream I continued to have, last night the administrator of the private sub chatroom messaged me.
ShadowWatch: Hello Korrrona’stha.
NightsFyre: Hello? Who are you? How do you know that word?!?
ShadowWatch: Because you are not the only one of the People to be here.
NightsFyre: What people? You know if your trying to be mean, you don't have to like my dream!
ShadowWatch: THE People, THE Korrrona.
NightsFyre: How do you know those words???? I never used them when I told of my dreams.
ShadowWatch: I know Korrrona'stha, I figured ifl used something you would recognize, you would be a little less skeptical. Apparently I was wrong about that.
ShadowWatch: You have been having your dream as far back as you can remember yes?
NightsFyre: *nods*
ShadowWatch: That is because you have the soul of one of The People inside you Korrrona’stha. You are still a protector of The People and the land, even if your form no longer follows function.
ShadowWatch: You remember your death Korrrona’stha. You remember the Durrrakini’hi's attack and your death at their hands.
ShadowWatch: You know the Durrrakini’hi do not eat of the flesh, but eat of the soul. You know souls cannot be destroyed, so what happens to them when the Durrrakini’hi consumed them?
NightsFyre: I don't know, I've never thought about it. I mean it is only a dream right? Just something weird with my mind right? I probably said those words sometime and you were there when I did.
ShadowWatch: Do you really believe that Korrrona’stha? Deep in your heart, do you truly believe it only to be a dream?
NightsFyre: It HAS to be a dream, it can't be real.
ShadowWatch: Conservation of Energy Korrrona’stha. Energy cannot be created nor destroyed, only transformed. The Durrrakini’hi take the souls from The People and shunt them to this world when a child is born. They take our souls and give them to the newborns here when there are no spare souls to use. The People have strong souls, we do not dissipate like other souls when they are recycled, and we endure.
NightsFyre: That is crazy. It is only a dream, it's not real. It can't be real.
ShadowWatch: Then I invite you to our chat room. Come talk to The People yourself.
ShadowWatch has invited you to join the chat group #ThePeople. Do you accept? Press Y to accept or N to ignore.
I accepted the invite, but did not go in last night. It was already late and had to work early. The upside was that today was Friday and I would have all weekend to talk to everyone in the chatroom over the weekend if I wanted to. The more I thought about it, the more my curiosity was piqued. I would just have to log in tonight and see what was what. Whatever happened it would be an interesting weekend.
August 22nd, 2016
I spent the weekend talking with #ThePeople. I'm not sure if the entire chatroom is crazy and pulling my leg or not. I was welcomed as soon as I entered the room. I was welcomed as Korrrona’stha. I honestly don't think I've even been welcomed so warmly into a chat room. People greeted my like an old friend who had been gone but recently returned. There were only 27 members of the chat room and everyone was on over the weekend. They told me I was the first and only Korrrona’stha to have been found so far. The whole thing was surreal, it was almost like being in a very in depth roleplay online where everyone knew their parts and truly enjoyed what they were doing. I asked many questions and all of them were answered as if well rehearsed or as if they were common knowledge.
Q: ls any of this actually real?
A: Very much real.
Q: How is any of this possible?
A: The conservation of energy, there is only so much in the universe and so when someone dies, the energy must go on and into a new host.
Q: Then how come more people do not remember things like this?
A: Some incarnations of the soul energy are stronger than others. The People were always a small tribe, very close knit, very dedicated to one another. The clan keeps each member strong. From what we can tell, The People came first; well not first so much as we received soul energy first. We were long lived, so our imprint on the energy was much stronger.
Q: Why were we killed off if we were the first?
A: The creator of all races, as far as we can tell, never planned to make so many races throughout the universe. When He made humans, He had no idea how quickly they would proliferate. He made their life spans shorter than ours and the humans overcame that be reproducing faster. Each child born needed soul energy, but since there is only so much energy to go around, once the Well was empty, the soul energy had to come from someplace. That is when the Durrrakini'hi, the Eaters of Souls came. They were dispatched to all of the long lived races to liberate the soul energy held there because if a child was ever born without soul energy for it, then that child would be soulless and be a true evil upon the universe.
Q: Are you talking about the Antichrist?
A: Of a sorts, but not like the stories. More like a completely immoral being with the ability to make
more of the same. They would spread like a plague and it would be the end of everything good in the universe.
Q: What does it matter now then? We are all human.
A: It matters because The People still live. As to being all human that is a yes and a no.
Q: What do you mean yes and no?
A: You would not believe yet. You are still stuck in the human world for now.
And so it went all weekend with various other questions. The whole thing started to feel surreal after a while so I excused myself and took a little road trip into the mountains to clear my mind. I've always loved the mountains and living in Colorado had been a dream come true. I had never felt peace quite like when I was on a lonely mountain top with the wind whistling through the tree limbs. The sense of utter quiet and peace that comes with being there is why I had always looked into finding my own little piece of it but could never afford it. At least I could enjoy my time in the mountains, I may be out of shape, but I can still manage to hike my way to where I wanted to go with a few rest breaks along the way. The bad side was that I was becoming more and more introverted and a home body as I got older and didn't leave home as much. Heck I wasn't much of a people person at all. I had completely given up on dating because everyone I ever went out with felt wrong. There wasn't anything there really and I ended up being with them just to be with someone. Sunday night, I had the dream again.
One Month Later
I've spent the last month or so getting to know these people. I now spend most evenings after work chatting with them. They truly believe everything they have been telling me and I'm not sure what to believe anymore. The dreams happen almost every night now and it's starting to impact my ability to have a good night's sleep. I'm tired more often than not nowadays. Last night I brought this up to the group and after a couple of minutes of no one responding, the group admin said I should find a quiet place to meditate in the mountains to help clear my mind. He even gave me GPS coordinates in the mountains South of where I live in Colorado. When I asked him about it, he said that he had been there before and there was just a calming energy there and he highly recommended it. I pulled up the coordinates on my computer and sure enough, it was a spot in the mountains in Southern Colorado. It is kind of in the middle of nowhere, but there was an old fire service road that got close to it. After that it would be about an eight mile hike to the actual site. I thanked him for his suggestion and told him I would consider it.
Another Month Later
I tried meditating in the mountains where I normally go. It hasn't helped; it seems to have gotten worse actually. It is almost as if I am being called in my dreams and I cannot answer. I've had maybe twelve hours of sleep in the past three days. Eventually I cannot take it any more. I need sleep and I cannot get it, so I pack my truck and my hiking pack with what I may need for a long weekend trek. I may not be in the best shape in the world, but I DO know how to survive. I even grab my old western style gun belt with the Ruger Blackhawk .357 as well as the matching old west, lever action .357 that my father bought me for my birthday so many years ago. I am going deep into the mountains so it is better to be safe than sorry. Plus, I'm a kid at heart and the idea of old west styling my trek appeals to me. I leave a message on the chat room that I am going to find peace for the weekend and pack the truck and start heading south. The drive is several hours until I reach the old forestry service road. It is rutted and bumpy, but my truck was made for this kind of stuff. Eventually I reach the end of the ‘beaten path’. I'm quite literally in the middle of nowhere in the mountains. Scrub pine and cliffs of rock and granite surround me, but I can make out a well worn path in the brush leading deeper into the mountains. I get my pack ready and strap on my old gun belt. I put the rifle in a case attached to the side of the pack and heft it all on my back. I forgot how heavy it all was, I really should work on getting back into shape again. I start out at an easy pace, no reason to exhaust myself from the beginning. The landscape around me is beautiful and somehow eerie in its silence. I hike along in silence, my breath starting to come harder to me, due to my out of shape-ness. I have to stop several times before I end up reaching what looks like a fork in the trail. One goes on fairly well trod and even, the other looks to go deeper into more inhospitable portions of the mountains. Kind of like an old cartoon where one path is dark and there are vultures perched and the other has sunshine and unicorns, this is about the same deal. I take a break look looking at the split in the path, it really should be an easy choice but something down the broken trail keeps drawing my eyes and my heart. As Robert Frost once wrote, ‘I took the road less traveled by.’
The trail was rough and broken, the path narrow and crooked, and yet I continued on following something in my heart. The trail meandered through rock and stream, through tree and bush and steadily it climbed higher. I'm not sure if it was luck or providence, but I came to a small clearing by a small cave close to evening. The side was level and clear of debris and a fire pit had already been dug and lined with stones in the middle from someone else's past outings. I divested myself of my pack and went back into the woods a bit and collected a respectable amount of firewood stacking it close to the fire pit. I laid a small fire in the pit and kindled it to life feeding more wood to it until it had reached a respectable size. I then gathered more firewood because as a rule of thumb, one cannot have too much firewood. I then pulled out a little item I carried called a tent hammock. I strung it securely between two sturdy trees close to the fire and placed my sleeping back inside. Then moving around the clearing I found an old log and drug it to the fire pit placing it close for a seat and took out my cooking utensils and started water to boil over the fire for coffee and food. The sun quickly set behind the mountains leaving the clearing lit only by firelight and the sound of the night woke around me. In the distance I heard the howl of a wolf, not completely usual for Colorado, but they had been making a comeback. I kept my rifle close by in case but, unless rabid or starving, they would not venture close to the camp. I added the water to one of the military MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) I carried with me and sat there watching the fire while enjoying a hot mean. The sounds of the night were peaceful, even the lonesome calling of the wild things in the distance set my heart at ease. I sat there in silent meditation for I know not how long drawing the peace and the strength of the forest around me into my soul. I later slung a long length of P-cord over a high limb and hoisted my pack high into the boughs of a tree to secure it from any meandering predators that may come along. Later, I stoked the fire higher to last through the night bedding the coals so as to be easily rekindled in the morning. I strapped my rifle to the top of the inside of the hammock tent, and then wrapping myself in my sleeping bag, I sealed the tent shut and quickly drifted to sleep.
My sleep was untroubled by dreams, the catharsis that had settled upon me that night in camp carried through into my rest. I awoke to the sounds of noise in my camp, what sounded like the clinking of my coffee pot against rocks. Moving carefully I took the rifle from its sling and slowly unzipped the door to the hanging tent. Peeking out I saw the back of what looked to be a medium sized man. The only distinguishing feature was the ponytail of white hair he had.
"Excuse me, can I help you Sir?" I asked.
"Nope, just making coffee, if you get out of bed you can have some too.” The stranger said not turning to face me.
The stranger didn't seem threatening, nor could I sense any malice on his part but still, meeting someone this far into the middle of nowhere raised my guard a bit. I climbed out of my warm nest and shivered slightly at the coolness in the air. I stepped into my boots keeping an eye on the man and shrugged into my old sweatshirt to ward the morning chill. The sun had barely crested the mountains and everything had that crisp look of autumn that only happens this time of year in the early morning. I made my way around to the other side of the fire keeping my distance from the stranger and knelt looking at him. His skin was weathered from long exposure to the elements, but his eyes were green and smiling as he eyed me and my rifle across from him. He could have been any age from late 30's to early 50's but he moved like a younger man.
”Good morning Korrrona'stha, I am ShadowWatch." He said plainly and simply.
I blinked in astonishment "Did you follow me up here?" I asked worrying that perhaps I was about to be assaulted and left for dead where no one would ever find me. What a plan that would have been. Talk an unwary traveler into a certain camping spot far from home, rob him and leave him for dead.
The old man shook his head "No, I actually live not too far from here a bit further in the mountains." He said matter of factly.
I looked around and asked "Then how do you get online to chat with people? It's a bit far for an internet connection and power isn't it?”
He shook his head as he poured two cups of coffee handing me one "Solar power and satellite internet connection." He stated taking a sip of coffee. He closed his eyes in pleasure. "I ran out of coffee a month ago and this is heaven.”
”Don’t get to go shopping much I expect." I said sipping my own coffee.
He nodded ”Maybe once every three months I go into town to pick up supplies for the group."
"The group? You mean there are more of you here?" I asked curiously.
The old man looked at me for a moment before saying "This is where The People live Korrrona'stha."
I looked at him with a raised eyebrow "You have what, a commune here? Some kind of religious, back to nature group?”
He snorted ”You still do not really believe. I ask you this, how did you sleep last night?"
I was about to respond with something snappy but I stopped and thought for a minute ”I slept peacefully, for the first time in probably a couple of months." I said truthfully.
He nodded as he sipped his coffee again “That is because you are where you belong, back with the Korrrona, back with The People. Why did you choose the tougher of the two paths when the trail forked?" he asked intensely.
“I don't know, something about this path called to me I guess, it just felt right to come this way." I said thoughtfully. I pulled and old pipe out of my pack and loaded it with tobacco while thinking about the reason I came this way. Taking a small burning stick from the fire, I lit the pipe puffing on it until the tobacco caught and blew a pale cloud of smoke into the sky. He watched me with a smile and pulled a pipe of his own from a pouch on his belt following my lead and lit it. We sat there drinking our coffee and puffing on our pipes for a minute before he spoke again.
”You felt called from this direction because this is where your people are. I ask you, you have come this far, are you willing to go a little further. Are you willing to meet your people face to face with an open mind and open heart and test the validity of my words?" he asked staring at me intently.
I sat puffing on my pipe thinking. I HAD come this far, what could it hurt to go a little further? If the old man had wanted to kill me he could have done so while I slept. I had talked to all of them in the chat room, they all seemed like good people and they went out of their way to make me feel welcome. Besides, it isn't like I was so overly fond of my singular existence and life, that I would regret it if it were suddenly gone. I realized that a part of me had already decided to follow him to see where this all led to, well at least my heart had, my brain kept telling me I was an idiot for even considering it. Eventually I told my brain to take the day off and nodded to the old man. ”Lets pack up and I'll follow you to see where this all goes." And with that, I started packing everything back up again.
It didn't take long to break camp. We made sure the fire was completely cold before we headed off. I followed the old man, who moved quite nimbly for someone his age, and we made our way deeper into the mountains. We didn't go terribly far, perhaps a couple of miles before the old man stopped. When I caught up I raised an eyebrow and he gestured to an old crumble of boulders close to the cliff side. I walked over to them and after some careful inspection found an opening between them and the cliff which looked to lead into a cave. The old man led me inside and a few feet from the entrance was a wire basket full of what looked to be torches. He gestured for me to procure one, and I did, lighting it from my lighter in my pocket. I handed it to him and he led us deeper into the caves. The path was word and smooth from centuries of wind and the passage of feet. This must have been an old Indian trail many years ago. We followed the cave and he seemed to take splits and forks at random, the kind of randomness from years of going the same path by habit. I think anyone else who would have walked in here would have quickly gotten lost. I lost track of which turn happened where so l followed the bobbing torchlight in the dark. After what was probably a couple of hours of travel, there seemed to be a lightening of the cave ahead. When we got closer, there was another metal basket of torches. The old man put out the one he had and placed it in the basket for later use and led us forward. We came to a large, circular grotto carved into the mountains by what looked like an underground stream. The walls went up several hundred feet to an open ceiling revealing sky and sunlight. The ground was a mixture of stone, sand and grass closer to the river bank. On one side of the river was a fenced area with what looked to be a very large garden, enough to easily help feed a small community. The whole area was easily forty or fifty acres in size and completely protected from all sides by cliffs like a little hidden oasis from the outside world. There were a couple of bridges built over the river and multiple cave openings leading into the mountains. The truly astounding thing was all of the dwellings which looked to be carved straight into the walls of the cliffs. Each dwelling had a single door and a few windows depending on the length of the individual dwelling. Above the first level was a second tier and more dwellings. It was amazing; the amount of work that would have gone into creating these was staggering. The sides of the cliffs had relay antennas for what I guessed was the satellite downlink for their internet. There were also multiple solar arrays mounted in various positions to best capture the maximum amount of sunlight as it steamed into the valley. There was also, what looked to be, a water turbine on the river. The dwellings that had lights on in the windows, had the steady light of electricity instead of the flickering light of fire. l only saw one individual moving at a distance and they were heading towards the largest of the dwellings. The odd part was it looked like the individual was wearing a long hooded cloak.
”This place is beautiful. Did you all make this?" l asked in awe.
The old man laughed and shook his head “No, these were originally carved out by a long forgotten Indians tribe who sheltered here during the winter. We were lucky to find it honestly. One of our people found it quite by accident. lt took a while to get it all situated but it gives us a great place to live and hide from others."
”Why are you hiding? l can understand living here to get away from the modern world, but l wouldn't think hiding would be needed." I said curiously.
”You will understand soon enough. Come with me, The People await you in the gathering hall. They all look forward to meeting you." He said smiling.
l followed him to the largest dwelling l had seen the cloaked figure go into. We came to a small amphitheater with a bunch of cloaked and hooded people in the seats leading down to a small stage area. The old man led me resolutely to the stage are, and not a single person stirred in their cloaks as they watched us. Once we were on the stage we turned and the people in the seats were all cloaked in shadow. I was distinctly nervous being watched by... I counted... Twenty seven people. The old man looked up at the assembled people and spoke "Welcome everyone. We are here to welcome our Korrrona’stha home to The People. He has made the journey of his own free will; he has chosen the tough path and followed where his heart has led him. He still does not truly understand why he was drawn here, nor why the dreams wake him in the night, but here, he has found solace and peace. Now it is time for the harder test, brothers and sisters, welcome our Korrrona'stha home.
And with those words, each person stood and undid the clasp n their cloaks letting them slide to the floor. It was here that my brain screeched to a halt. These were not humans, these were something alien. The most resembled anthropomorphic wolves but with significant differences. First, their ears were quite long and came to sharp points above their head and resembled horns more than ears. Their brow and jaw line were studded with spikes in different patterns and intensity depending on the individual. The tails, while just as fluffy and full as regular wolves tails were longer, significantly longer and from what I could tell prehensile. Their feet were of a digitigrade construction but for where the first joint above the food where a long wicked clawed spike grew. The claws on their hands and feet looked wickedly strong and sharp with the feet claws being more curved for purchase into the ground. Some had spikes on their wrists, or shoulders, or elbows and they all had different colored fur. Everything from black to red to browns and tans and any combination in between could be seen in the crowd. Eye colors ranged from green to gold to amber and silver and while my brain took this all in, I felt a hand on my shoulder and turning to look, a white and silver furred version of these things stood there beside me, a worried look on his face. In a growling, yet non-threatening voice he said "Welcome home
Korrrona’stha.”
I'm ashamed to say, I fainted. It was too much for my brain to take in all at once and while I was a fan of fury's and the like online, a portion of my brain firmly held the belief that it was all fiction and couldn't be real. It was this part of my brain that started to gibber in fear and caused me to faint. How embarrassing…
I'm not sure how long I was out, but when I blinked my eyes open, it was dark outside the window I could see through. I was on a bed, a regular old bed, my head on a pillow and a comforter pulled up to my neck. My mind flashed back to what had happened and I put my hands on my face groaning before I muttered ”How embarrassing..."
A soft gentle voice chuckled from beside and slightly behind me ”Don’t feel bad, I did the same thing when I first came here. The mind doesn't quite want to accept what it's seeing and therefore shuts down. It's a self defense mechanism. Actually now that I think about it, everyone has fainted."
Freezing in place at the voice, I took a deep breath, swallowed, and turned my head to the voice. Sitting a few feet away was one of the wolf-like humanoids watching me curiously. She wasn't overly large. She had a strong, compact frame but also maintained the curves a female would normally have. Her fur was a deep red with various black and dark grey highlights throughout her coat. It was quite striking actually. Her bright, green eyes regarded me curiously as her long, slender tail twitched curiously behind her. The small spikes that lined her eyebrows were black as midnight as were her claws and the talons of her feet. Her coat was well groomed and shone in the firelight of the room with obvious care devoted to it. The ruff around her neck and cheeks was thick and also well groomed and she shone with obvious good health even if she didn't look like she belonged on this planet.
”Are you just going to stare or actually say something?" she asked. There was no accusation in her voice, only simple curiosity.
”Have I gone insane?" I asked in a quiet voice.
A gentle look entered her eyes and she shook her head gently ”No, I am quite real." And as if to emphasize the point, she rose; she was quite tall, taller than a normal female would be usually. She came over to the bed and looked down at me before sitting on the edge of the bed causing the springs to creak slightly.
I didn't recoil at her approach; I was too entranced in her movements to even think about that. She had a kind of sway to her walk that was definitely feminine and her long sinuous tail swayed behind her like a large hunting cat. She stepped lightly on the, well what would have been the balls of her feet, but what were very large paws. Now that I noticed the feet I could tell they were quite large, but they would have to be so support an upright individual as tall as she was, and they made almost no sound as she quietly padded over to the bed. The creaking of the bed springs is what broke me out of my trance and I looked at her in apprehension. She held out on hand, well almost a paw really. It was fairly large as well, it could easily cover my entire face, and she made professional basketball players look small. She turned her hand over and I could see what resembled thick, black leather on the palms like the pads of a canine's foot but the difference was that the pads also went up to her fingertips. Without thinking I reached out to touch them and then stopped looking at her.
”Its OK, go ahead." She said reassuringly, her tail twitching behind her absently like a curious cats.
I took one finger and lightly touched the palm of her and, the pad there felt like thick, tough skin really and was soft to the touch. I drew my finger gently up the pad and up one of the fingers and it felt like regular skin. She turned her hand over, the back side of the hand and fingers were covered in her thick, reddish fur that darkened to almost black at the fingertips. It was soft, yet course to the touch being shorter and thicker. The tips of her fingers didn't have fingernails, and when I got to them I looked at her curiously. She flexed her hand a bit and black claws slid from the tips of each finger like a cat's retractable claws. That would explain why her fingers were thicker and blunter than a human's. They looked razor sharp and wickedly pointed at the ends. I ran my hand lightly up her forearm feeling the thickness and softness of her fur and noticed that her coat wasn't just one color, but a combination of reds, blacks and browns with the red being the dominant color. Her arms felt strong and well muscled; there was no softness there except for the texture of the fur. I was so enthralled, that I didn't notice her impish smile as she snaked her long, prehensile tail behind me and tickled the back of my ear with it. I absently flicked my hand at my ear to shoo away the annoyance but she did it again and it took a couple of tries to bring me out of my revelry. Looking over my shoulder I saw her tail which she used to wave at me before pulling it back behind her with a grin.
”Sorry, you were a bit zoned there for a few minutes." She said with laughter in her voice.
I made a face ”I'm sorry for staring, but can you blame me?” I asked wryly.
"Not in the least bit. I'll admit, it is kind of nice being paid so much attention to, a girl has needs you know." She laughed.
Looking into her green eyes I asked ”Where did you come from?"
She let out a very feminine laugh at that and said ”Actually, I came from Pueblo." At the stunned look on my face she explained. “Our kind are drawn to the mountains, eventually we all end up someplace like Colorado. There are other groups of us, some in Tennessee, some in Utah, Montana, Wyoming, and anywhere else there are mountains to hide in. Each group is fairly small, no more than thirty or forty, any larger and it gets harder to hide from humans.”
“Wait, wait, wait. You weren't born like this?" I asked trying to come to grips with everything.
”No, I was quite human, just like you. I had always had the dreams, just like you. I was found by the same person who found you. Actually everything happened about the same as it has for you so far. It is the same for each of our groups; it just depends on geography who ends up contacting you. You're the first Korrrona'stha to show up for our area though. You won't believe how excited everyone is!" she said, her own excitement bubbling up. ”We've waited so long for a Korrrona’stha to come along.” She said, a look of wonderment in her eyes.
”OK, I know what I've dreamt of, but what exactly does a Korrrona'stha mean to The People? You make it sound like I'm some kind of savior come to liberate your people from enslavement.” I snorted.
She shook her head emphatically "It’s nothing like that.” She assured me "For a clan to be complete, they must have a Shaman or a Soorrrotha'cata, a tribal chief or Trrrasa'keet, and a guardian or Korrrona’stha. These three make up the decision making body of each tribe. A Korrrona’stha is responsible for guarding the clan from outside threats, clan law enforcement and dispute mitigation." She explained.
“Hold on, so, I'm supposed to be this Korrrona'stha? I'm supposed to be the guardian, sheriff and judge for the clan???” I asked alarmed.
She looked at me, one ear cocked curiously to the side "Well not right away no. You have a lot to learn still."
I blinked at her and spoke very slowly enunciating each word ”BUT... I'M... HUMAN...”
A look of comprehension dawned in her eyes before she said ”Only if you want to be."
That stopped me mid thought "Excuse me?” I asked.
"I used to be human too remember." She gestured to herself before saying ”This is a choice, not a curse, not a disease, a choice. Everyone of the The People chose to be here and be like this." She said.
”But I have a home, a family, I have frie..." I couldn't even finish saying the word friends because it would have been a lie. I had acquaintances, people I would hang out with occasionally. Mostly I sat at home feeling alone in a world where I felt like I didn't really belong in the first place. I had failed miserably at all of my past relationships and had given up on finding anyone that I truly felt I could have a life with. The only people I had ever felt any connection with were the ones like me online in various chat groups and programs. The only place where I didn't have to hide my likes and dislikes was the internet where I could be anonymous, and be the me that I was inside. All of these thoughts caused me to kind of curl up on myself in what amounted to despair at never belonging anywhere. I hated getting like this. It's why I tried very hard to not think of it, the deep pit of loneliness inside me would instantly grab hold and try to drag me down into it's dark, fathomless depths. I did manage to whisper ”I'm tired, I think I'll sleep now..."
I think either my scent gave me away, or The People had other senses that I didn't know about, because her ears folded flat to her head in distress and I never saw the look of pain in her eyes as she registered mine. I had rolled onto my side away from her, but she moved up the bed lying behind me. She moved as close as she could wrapping a long, strong arm around me pulling me closer as she whispered gently "You're not alone anymore." I guess I really was tired, because I did end up falling asleep with her around me. I dreamed again that night, but this time, my mate had red fur and green eyes…
Sometime in the night we had changed roles and positions, I was the one holding her, which had to look ridiculous seeing as that she out massed me by at least a hundred pounds if not more and had a foot of height on me, but there we were. Her tail had twined itself around my leg loosely and she was almost purring in her sleep. It was then, before daylight had even reached the caves, I finally noticed that I was holding a female in my arms again. I had lost most of my yearning and sex drive as I had spent most of my time alone and suddenly it came roaring back in fullness and I quickly arched my back and hips away from her so as not to completely embarrass myself. I thought I was OK until her tail tightened on my leg and pulled me back against her again. Now due to her elongated feet giving her a digitigrade stance, she was only a couple of inches taller than I was although she was a touch bulkier with muscle, but from the waste up we were both fairly close to the same size in height and body dimensions, this means when she drug me back against her, I poked her in the rump. Not in any kind of naughty place just... Well lets just say that my face matched her fur and I kept chanting in my head "please don't wake up, please don't wake up..." I'm not sure what happened but she started to... I guess purr would be a close enough word and started to rub up against me, this only made things worse for me. It only kicked my long dead sexy drive into overdrive and flesh that hadn't been used in so long responded as if I were a teenager again causing me to groan at the feelings flooding me once again after so long. Her ear swiveled around towards me when I groaned and her ‘purring’ grew louder as, I guess, she woke from her sleep. Her purrs were only interrupted when she growled out a moan saying “Finally...”
I have no idea what that meant exactly but her left arm reached behind her to trace a finger from the base to the tip of my manhood causing me to groan again but I had to say something, this was wrong, it was my fault for waking her and embarrassing myself against her so I managed to choke out ”I'm sorry..." in what had to be the most humiliated voice I've ever managed.
Her growling purr changed in intensity a bit, calming slightly as she asked “Sorry for what?"
”For this... You know..." and embarrassed beyond measure l buried my face in the thick ruff of fur on her neck before saying ”It's just been soooo long..." I said in a depressingly sad voice.
She seemed to suddenly understand because her ‘purr’ increased in intensity "You mean since you've reacted to anyone like this?" she asked, something strange in her voice. L just nodded in her fur unable to verbally confirm my shame. She let out another groaning growl, her purring increasing before saying ”Never apologize for something as special as this; I've been waiting for you for a long time." She said cryptically as she rolled towards me. She rubbed her muzzle along my face affectionately as she licked and lightly kissed my neck and ear, her hand reaching down to wrap around the object of her desire causing me to groan at her touch. He fur against my skin felt strange and yet heavenly, even her smell did something to me and l wrapped my arms around her larger body pulling her closer reveling in her touch and scent. Her grip on my male hood was gentle and yet demanding and each caress caused thoughts to banish from my head leaving only desire for someone l had only just met and who wasn't even my species. l thought that maybe l should articulate this in some way but words wouldn't even form in my mind much less my lips. Growling, she rolled me onto my back swinging a knee around me to straddle my middle, her green eyes locked onto mine almost glowing in the dark. He hands roved across my flesh, her claws sliding free a bit to leave little red trails on my skin. She teased me then, grinding the velvet, moist opening of her desire against the tip of mine making me groan. l ran my hand up the fur of her stomach feeling the taut muscles underneath and then up to hir fur covered breasts feeling the nipples hidden underneath the fur as hard as any diamond in their erection. l tweaked them causing her to gasp throwing her head to the ceiling exposing the lighter shades of fur in her throat. I thought for a moment she was lost in sensation until she let the stiffness go from her legs and she sank slowly down my shaft causing us both to gasp and then groan in a type of pleasure l had never felt before. She was delightfully tight and warm as she took me all in only stopping when it was physically impossible to go any further. The instead of lifting back of, she starts to grind hir hips on top of me causing us both to let out a surprised grunt at the feeling it caused in us. I continued to play with her breasts until she took my arms in her hands and held them firmly above my head. Then she started to rub her muzzled face against mine, first on one side then the other like a can scent marking what belongs to her. Then a look crossed her face and her eyes took on an odd look. She started to grind on me only pulling up enough to move as she held me pinned to the bed. Her motions growing more frantic and needful as the pace intensified. lt has been so long that I was surprised I held out this long but before she had gone more than a few seconds, my body convulsed in a spasm that rocked my whole body even against her strength emptying myself into her. This must have been what she had been waiting for because her whole body also quivered as apparently this triggered her peak as well. Her
back arched as head swung skyward and a long low howl underscored with a type of thrumming broke the night air. Slowly the howl broke off as her entire body seemed to suddenly relax.
She slumped slightly putting one hand on either side of me to support her weight and looked at me with those bright, green eyes. Something flickered behind them, something like a mixture of wonder and excitement. Again she stroked her muzzle against my face and neck, and when she did, I ran my fingers through the thick ruff of fur on her cheeks which caused her to purr again. Suddenly the entirety of the situation hit me and l started to laugh. This caused her to sit up, me still inside her, which caused me to groan again but I continued to laugh. "What is so funny?" she asked a bit miffed.
Wiping a tear from my eyes I said “I don't even know your name..."
This caused her to pause for a minute, then she too started to chuckle and before I knew it we were laying side by side laughing hardly able to breath. Finally she managed to gasp out "My.... My name is Terra... Terra Kindtouch..."
Managing to get a hold of myself I said "My name is Jeremy... Jeremy Seawright... Most people just call me Jay. I guess we don't have to worry about a handshake Ms. Kindtouch. What kind of name is Kindtouch?" I asked curiously.
Terra had gotten herself under control but laughter still gleamed behind her eyes as she said "One's surname changes when they become of The People. I am the clan healer, which is actually why I was even here when you woke up. My name used to be Melissa Kensington. When I chose to be on of The People, I was given the gift of healing by the ancestors. I have a sort of an insight into illnesses now." She explained. ”It is actually a bit difficult to explain, it doesn't only work for The People either."
“So you're a doctor, veterinarian and a botanist all rolled into one?" I asked curiously.
She nodded "Pretty much. I really love my position in the clan. I like helping and everyone said they could feel the kindness in my simplest touch, so the name stuck, Kindtouch."
I laid quiet for a bit just letting everything tumble around in my head. After a bit, Terra got a worried look in her eyes "Is everything OK? Your not have regrets are you?" she asked in a timid voice.
Something about hearing such a vulnerable voice coming from such an intimidating being touched me somehow and I turned to look at her noting the look of apprehension on her face.
”Everything is fine, just so many thoughts running in circles in my mind. I've gone from a solitary existence to suddenly having 27 individuals looking at me like I'm a blessing come at last. Plus I'm still not wholly sure this isn't some deranged hallucination. I mean, things like this only happen in fiction novels. Trust me I know, I've been reading everyone I could find. It was one of the few things I could do to help with the loneliness. Like sharing the lives of a fictional character helped me feel more like I belonged rather that an outcast. And to top everything off, after years of no intimate contact and an absolutely zero sex drive at all, I turned into a horny teenager with someone that isn't even my species… I'm confused, apprehensive and more than a touch scared...” the last sentence I almost whispered.
Terra's ears perked forward and apparently she had no problems hearing me whatsoever. “You felt like you never really connected with anyone and the only place you felt free, was online surrounded by other people who didn't fit in. All of your relationships ended in disaster or misery and eventually you stopped trying because no one felt like they would ever be what you needed inside?" she summed up quite well. I just nodded, my vision blurred with tears I tried to hold back, every word struck home picking at old wounds that never truly healed. I may have lied to myself with the fact that I didn't mind being alone, that it was better than the alternatives, but to be honest, I was dying inside little by little.
Then Terra spoke again ”Jay, you don't ever have to be alone again, The People are your family and we have been waiting for you for so long... I have been waiting for YOU for so long." She said emphasizing YOU.
I took a deep, slightly shuddering breath before managing to get out "Waiting for me? You didn't even know I existed until you talked to me online."
"The People aren't like humans in that they procreate with whomever catches their fancy. Souls are energy, and only sympathetic energies can resonate together in perfect harmony. Think of it simply as soul mates, except that, for The People, we do not become aroused by or sexual with, anyone except the other soul that resonates with ours. Without that other person, we focus all of our energies on the clan. There were only nine mated soul pairs in this camp..." she said as she watched me carefully.
”Were? Did someone pass away?" I asked slightly absently still working through other thoughts in my head and not really paying attention to what she was saying or exactly how she was saying it. I was still trying to process this new reality and not everything was making it past the first layer of hearing. It is probably a good thing I didn't see the hurt look on her face as she sighed before saying "Never mind, I'll explain it later." Then she pulled me into her arms dwarfing me with her larger body as she held on as if I were some kind of life raft in stormy seas. I'll admit, she was warm and something about this strong being holding me put me at ease. Soon the thoughts in my mind quieted to her gentle purring, and I fell asleep once again.
October 15th, 2016
I woke up when reflected sunlight from one of the solar arrays made it through the window and straight into my eyes. Cursing slightly I sat up in bed looking around a bit groggily. I checked my watch and saw that it was only 0700. The room I was in was eerily quiet and I realized I was completely alone. Throwing back the covers, I realized I was still naked and taking another minute to keep my brain in gear I realized I also smelled a bit like Terra and sex. Did The People shower? Looking around the small apartment, the only thing I found was a basin of tepid water, soap, a washcloth and a towel. Well I'd bathed in less. I went about cleaning myself up as best I could, but the smell of Terra never fully left me and I found that I didn't mind in the least bit. I found my pack and my clothes from yesterday, cleaned and folded, on a small dresser on one wall. I pulled on fresh clothes and donned my boots. Out of some odd habit, I also put on my old gun belt securing it in place with its extra leather ties to keep it from bouncing around. After all I WAS still in the mountains and I had an urge to explore a bit. Settling everything into place I stepped through the partition that acted as a front door and into the cavern proper. The sunlight illuminated everything quite well and the sky above was a brilliant blue with only a few wisps of clouds to be seen. Since the housing circled one half of the valley, houses were spread quite far in either direction. I could see others walking around further down from, what I gathered, was the residential district. So I meandered down towards what looked like maybe it was some kind of shopping or working area. The sunlight streaming in through the high valley opening was warm even if the breezes the swirled into the valley were cool with autumn's chill. This was always my favorite time
of year, when mornings were crisp and cool and had one seeking the warmth of a jacket.
Eventually I made my way to where more of The People were going about their day. Most wore some kind of pants, or perhaps shorts would be the better word, since digitigrade legs didn't make it easy to wear actual pants. I don't think any of them wore the clothing out of any sense of modesty, I think it was having pockets that appealed to them since most wore cargo type long shorts that had a button flap on the read to go up and over tails. A few wore t-shirts for whatever reason appealed to them and others went shirtless. It really just depended on what the individual wanted. I was greeted warming by most everyone and most sniffed the air when I arrived, gave me a knowing look, said congratulations, and went about their day. I wasn't quite sure what I was being congratulated for and figured that it must have something to do with being here. The females that saw me, gave me odd smiles and whispered to each other while watching me walk past. I found this a tad more disconcerting, but then again, I've always had self image issues when it came to the opposite sex so the whispering and occasional giggles didn't do a whole lot for me. Hunching my shoulders against what I perceived as other people's judgement I quickened my pace. Eventually, my wanderings found me at the shore of the river where I found a flat boulder jutting out into the running waters. I made my way to the ledge and sat on the edge watching the water flow by. I'm not sure how long I sat there before I heard the sound of what sounded like sharp claws on stone.
"You're not thinking of jumping in are you?" an older, growling voice asked with a touch of Amusement.
Snorting I said ”Water looks too cold to jump into.”
"Aye, this time of year it can be a tad chill.” Then the voice let out a low chuckle of amusement ”I also haven't seen Terra so happy and yet frustrated all at the same time. What did you do?"
I'm sure my ears turned bright red which caused him to chuckle again. Turning my head I realized the voice was actually ShadowWatch. I moved over to my right to make more room on the edge which he quickly occupied. ”So you are the Soorrratha’cata?" I asked sounding out the new word with a mouth, I was fairly sure, wasn't meant to really pronounce it.
He nodded, his silver and white fur ruffling in the breeze swirling around the river. ”You can call me Michael Frostmane, or just Michael." He said kindly.
“Michael, you said everyone has been waiting for me to come? Why are the females all whispering and laughing at me then? It makes me uncomfortable." I said fidgeting on the edge.
"ls THAT what has you so far from the village?" he asked with laughter in his voice. "The entire clan heard you and Terra last night." He pointed to the elongated ears that looked a good bit like horns. ”There aren't just for decoration you know, we all have VERY good hearing."
I'm sure my face turned another three shades of red as I buried my face in my hands with a groan. "Well that is embarrassing; they must think I'm some kind of weirdo... I just got here and already..." I left the last part hanging because I just couldn't make myself say it.
Michael looked confused before asking ”Did Terra not explain things to you?"
I shrugged "It is possible, but I was too deep in my own head afterwards to make sense of much of anything. She said something about having been waiting for me for forever but I figured she meant the tribe as a whole." I admitted.
Michael sighed the sigh that only an older person can when confronted with the stupidity of youth and said "No. That was not what she meant. We, of The People, are not like the humans, not anymore. Where humans sleep around and change partners at a whim, we are faithful and true to only one. We call this a soul pairing. Before last night, there were only nine soul pairs in this village. Most here wait patiently for their own soul pairing, but we are still a young clan and not everyone has come to us as of yet. More than likely, the giggles and whispers were speculation on what your cubs would look like, or basing your performance in bed by Terra's declaration howl last night. Speaking of which, most of the clan gave you either an eight or a nine out often." He said with an evil laugh.
"Declaration howl?" I asked still feeling clueless.
”Wow, you can be a bit thick can't you?" Michael asked in exasperation. ”Terra pronounced herself soul paired last night."
Things suddenly clicked into place in my head before I whispered "You said there were only nine before last night...”
Michael nodded grinning ”Now there are ten. Congratulations, Terra will be one fine mate to you and an excellent mother to your cubs."
I think something broke in my head again because all I managed was ”What... How??? CUBS?!? But I didn't!!!"
Michael decided to take pity on me and placed a huge hand on my shoulder. If Terra was large compared to me, Michael was a giant. ”For The People, there is only one whose soul will truly ring in harmony with theirs, all others are discordant. Discordant souls will never be able to react to each other in the same way that you and Terra did last night. Only soul pairs will ever be truly happy together because, their souls find harmony with each other. It is kind of like the human concept of soulmates, except for us, it is a literal truth. It is a blessing to find the matching harmony to our soul. Sympathetic resonance, I think scientists call it. Do you not like her?” he asked curiously.
I opened and closed my mouth a couple of times trying to figure out what to say and finally settled on ”After we met, my dreams changed... My mate, in my dreams, looked like her suddenly..."
Michael nodded "Your soul knows what it has found, now your mind and heart have to follow along. I have a feeling your mind is much more stubborn than any other part of you. Do you want, my advice?” he asked.
I could only really nod and listen.
”Take the time to know Terra. She is a beautiful person inside and out. Sit down with her, discuss what this all means for both of you, and let her explain how she feels and what this all entails. She may be feeling a bit hurt that you don't understand how special this is yet, but she can also be as stubborn as you I think. Also, I recommend you turn your mind off and follow your heart on this one thing. I know this all has come at you so quickly, but you aren't the first person to go through all of this. It is a pity the first of The People to have gone through this alone. At least you have others to talk to, to share their stories with you.
I sat there thinking for a bit; I pulled out my pipe packing it absently while Michael watched. I lit the pipe puffing on it to get the ember glowing and sat there examining everything Michael had told me. I noticed him watching me so I offered him my pipe and he took it with a smile and a nod. It looked ridiculously small in his giant hands but he seemed to enjoy it nonetheless. We sat there enjoying a smoke and chatting amiably about various things, but nothing specifically important until I asked. "What’s it like?"
He understood the non-specific question and looked thoughtful for a minute before saying ”The change itself is... It's an experience one never forgets. It isn't a smoke and mirrors instant Transformation like they have in movies and cartoons; it is a gradual process and can take several weeks. If it went any faster, the body would burn out of fuel and waste away before the change was complete. The entire time you're gorging on food to fuel the change and your body constantly aches all over. There are certain changes that hurt more than others and there are times when you cannot even leave the bed because you hurt so much. The change is different for everyone, yours will be more so. If you are truly Korrrona'stha, then you will have more changes than others. Then once it is complete, you have to learn to use your new body all over again. It takes most people four to six months to change and become productive members of The People.” He looked at me then, taking a pull from the pipe before passing it back to me. "And as much as I do not wish to say it, it IS your choice to make. You do not have to go through the change, nor do you have to be one of The People if you do not wish to be, although now that you have found your soul bond with Terra, more than just you will suffer should you choose that path. Soul pairings only happen with one person in your life, there will never be another. That is why, when a soul paired person passes away, their mate is not far behind. They literally pass from heartbreak. The upside is that you only just met Terra and she you. The bond, while there, is not strong yet. It is only a tentative connection at this point and while you both may experience discomfort and a feeling of loss should you choose not to stay, no one will die from it.” He said solemnly…
I turned to look at him and saw the sadness there in his eyes, but also a strength there that said, no matter how much it may harm The People, he would not lie to me. ”Thank you... You could have told me what you wanted me to know to lead me towards the choice of joining The People, but you told me everything. You have left the choice to me and I appreciate that. I think, personally, the hardest part is the unknown and leaving my family behind. They will simply think I disappeared into nothingness and that would hurt them." I said somewhat regrettably.
”That is true." He said. "But you are also a grown man; you must choose your own path in life for no one else can choose it for you. Plus, we need you truth be told. We are incomplete without a Korrrona’stha in the clan. Technically, we are not an actual clan without you." He stated truthfully.
"Do you know where Terra is right now?" I asked.
He grinned and looked at me. ”Can you not sense her yourself? You are soul paired now. Close your eyes and think on her, see what happens.” He said with a grin.
Giving him a skeptical look, I closed my eyes and thought on Terra. I pictured her red fur and green eyes and more than that, I remembered the feel of her against me and suddenly something pulled me towards the left and back behind me, opening my eyes I realized I was staring back towards the village and the working section where the rest were going about their daily chores. I blinked and looked at Michael. ”Well, I guess that is handy.” I stated.
Michael just laughed and nodded "There are other benefits of the soul pairing, but you two will have to figure them out for yourselves if you decide to do so that is."
I nodded and stood up. I tapped the dross from the pipe putting it back into my coat pocket. "Thank you for talking with me old man." I said with a half teasing grin.
Michael scowled, and growled at me, but there was humor in his eyes. "Call me old again and we will see how cold the water is.”
I laughed and offered him a hand up. He nearly yanked me off my feet, but it was more a gesture of friendship and respect that any real offer of help, he was probably at least double my weight and a good seven feet tall not counting eight inches of ears. ”I promise to talk with Terra. Actually I think I'll go do that now. Do me a favor?” I asked.
He cocked his head to the side, his ears perked forward in curiosity.
"Make a list of supplies the clan can use. I can only stay this weekend and I'll have to go back tomorrow, but I do plan on coming back next weekend, and I can bring supplies with me if you’d like."
Then a thought struck me. ”How do you change back and forth???" I asked.
Michael chuckled. ”I was wondering when you'd ask that. I don't actually change back and forth. As the Soorrratha’cata, I can make others see me as a human, a type of illusion that works on the
minds around me. I don't actually change forms, it's just that other humans see what I want them to see. Actually you should be able to weld the same power as the Korrrona’stha of the clan. You will have to interact with humans more than the rest of The People, so the same ability will be available to you as well. I'll make a list of needed items and have it ready before you leave. Now go see Terra, she was a touch agitated earlier and I'm pretty sure it's your fault." He said with a smirk. ”It's always the man's fault."
I snorted and followed the internal compass that pointed me towards Terra and headed back in her direction. Once I reached the village again, there were a few people outside shops offering various wares for the village. There seemed to be a barter system in place and I wondered what I would have to offer, then my stomach decided to make a very audible protest of the fact that I hadn't eaten since breakfast the previous day. Everyone in the market turned to look at me, which of course caused me to turn bright red in embarrassment. A particularly matronly female stepped from her stall smiling at me while not showing her teeth in the process.
"Welcome Korrrona'stha.” She said with a slight bow. ”I take it you have not eaten yet today?"
"No Ma'am, I have not. In all of the... Excitement... It didn't occur to me at the time." I said embarrassed.
"Come with me hon, let's get you fed." And with that she took me hand and quite literally dragged me into her shop. She sat me down at a small table before bustling off. I looked around the shop and saw personal touches everywhere. It was quite homey and I could see that in fact, this wasn't a shop at all, but her home. A few minutes later she bustled back in with a large bowel that was steaming in the cool air and set it in front of me. It was fairly full with oatmeal with chunks of nuts and apples and what smelled like cinnamon in it. My stomach gave another audible protest and laughing she handed me a spoon which I used to tuck into the large bowl. She then set a steaming mug of tea in front of me and took a much larger one for herself before sitting across from me. She was also tall for a human female, probably about the same size as Terra, but a tad stouter with more grey in her once fawn colored coat. Watching me eat she smiled while sipping her tea before speaking. "I'd like to congratulate you on your soul pairing last night, and with Kindtouch of all people. If anyone deserved to find her soul bond, it was her." She said as her tail twitched in amusement at the blush which colored my face. "It's OK hon, we are a bit more Earthly than humans. Mating is a part of life and without it the clan does not grow. Oh where are my manners!" she exclaimed. "My name is Bernice Soft-Touch clan Trrrasa’keet.” This last word made me pause trying to remember what that was. Seeing my confusion she supplied. "I'm the clan Chief or clan Elder, whichever you prefer." At seeing my wide eyed look of surprise she waved her hand in the air absently. "Don't make much of it Korrrona’stha, It just means I am the oldest here and try to pass on my knowledge to those who seek it so that it is not forgotten. Think of me as the clan chronicler and teacher. Finish your food before it gets cold hon." She said with a motherly smile. I quickly finished the bowl with a sigh and looked around for a place to wash it as I stood up. "Leave it for now, let us talk.” She refilled my tea as well as hers and sat there staring at me before she spoke. "I know this is probably a bit overwhelming yes?" she asked.
"Yes Ma'am, I've gone, from what I only thought of as a persistent dream, to a community of beings who shouldn't exist on Earth. I'm quite literally in the middle of an alien colony of people who used to be human. It's like an alien invasion using our own bodies. I think I saw a horrible B rated movie about something like this." I said wryly.
Beatrice just laughed and sat her mug down. "What an interesting way of looking at it. I guess I never quite thought of it in that particular light. It IS quite ”Invasion of the Body Snatcher" Isn't it?” she asked with a chuckle. ”What you must understand is that none of us actually asked for this. We were all in the same boat as you are now at one time. Although you are in the unique position that your dreams identify you as Korrrona'stha, and that can be a bit intimidating all on its own. Of course we won't know if those dreams are true or not until you decide if you are going to make the change or now. Knowing Michael, he told you the complete truth of what you choice entails?” she asked shrewdly. At my nod, she also nodded. "Good, I'd rather you know all the facts that feel like you had been lied to later. The truth is, the clan needs you Korrrona’stha. BUT, we will survive without you if you decide not to stay. In the end, it is truly YOUR decision, although becoming soul bonded with Kindtouch will make things more difficult. If l had even had an inkling that you two would have been compatible, I would have kept you far apart until you had made your decision. Now you both will suffer if you decide to leave for good." She sighed then. "I will admit, I am a touch jealous that she found her soul bond with you, but my time will come. Every clan that was started and thrives now has an even number of soul paired couples. We seem to draw our other halves eventually wherever we are, almost like someone is apologizing for splitting us apart to begin with. As far as we can tell, it was a complete accident for our people to be wiped out. The Great Creator didn't realize that humans would breed as fast as they did. We think, that allowing us to manifest here, is His way of giving us a second chance. Who knows honestly? We remain hidden for now because you know how humans are. They fear and despise anything that isn't human. You've seen the movies and even though they are only movies, there is a bit of fact in them. We may never come out completely but more and more of The People show up every day, and it gets harder and harder to find places like this to live and prosper in. The next clan is scheduled to settling in Alaska. At least there it has plenty of unoccupied land even though the winters are cold, our winter coats are warmer. Anyway, I'm babbling now. I just wanted to meet you and maybe take your measure a bit."
She stood then and took the bowel and the mug to the back. When she returned she carried a bouquet of wildflowers, probably some of the last of the year, and gave it to me. ”Give these to Terra, she's worried that she may have scared you off after last night and she has been snippy all morning." She said with a smile.
I took the flowers, which actually had been in the back of my mind to begin with, and nodded to her. "Thank you Ma'am. This is actually what I was thinking about before you force fed me." I said with a grin.
Beatrice gave me a matronly smile and winked. "A woman always knows what will make another woman happy, no matter what the species. Be well and good luck hon. Feel free to visit anytime." And with an affectionate pat on the head, she shooed me out of her house.
I reoriented myself and followed the internal radar leading me to Terra and came to a building with a sign swinging gently in the breeze. It had the red cross dedicated to medical services on the face of the sign and there were a couple of people sitting inside. And I got instantly nervous again. I tried several times to go inside and couldn't do it. I really tried too. I kept pacing back and forth in front of the doorway looking like a complete idiot I'm sure. I finally stopped pacing and stared out over the valley fighting and internal battle trying to make myself go inside. I guess someone inside saw my predicament, because a few minutes later someone tapped me on the shoulder. Startled I wheeled around and was face to muzzle with Terra who had an eyebrow raised in curiosity. I managed to open and close my several times doing quite well at imitating a fish and finally held the flowers up for her.
Her eyes widened in surprise as she took them. She held them to her nose and inhaled lightly letting the breath out with a content sigh. ”Thank you Jay! They are beautiful.” She said happily, her tail waving behind her animatedly.
Somewhere during all of this I managed to find my voice and blurted "You're welcome mate of my souI..." Don't ask me where that came from, it just kind of poured out of my mouth like water. This caused her tail to completely stop moving as her eyes got even wider. Spinning around, I thought she was going to walk off without me before her tail wrapped around my wrist dragging me with her. There were a couple of chuckles from the patients in the waiting room as she drug me past them into the back of the clinic. Had I said something wrong? Did I DO something wrong??? Once we were out of view, and hearing, of everyone, she spun on me, dragging me closer with her tail, and wrapping her arms around my neck kissed me. It was an awkward kiss, I don't think muzzled lips are quite designed for kissing, but damn did she give it her best try! When she finished the kiss, she crushed me into a hug rubbing her muzzle against my cheek and neck affectionately like a cat while doing her best imitation of a motorboat.
I tried to hug her back, but honestly, she was big enough that I couldn't get very far around her to hug properly but I tried my best and I think the sentiment was relayed. Eventually she broke the hug and stepped away with the flowers. Rummaging through her desk she pulled out a length of ribbon and tied the flowers into a bundle and hung them from the ceiling by her desk, upside down. At my questioning look she said.”This way, they will dry, and I can smell them while I am sitting at my desk. Then once they are dry and preserved, I'll have them forever as a reminder of today." She said sounding almost bubbly.
”Listen, about last night..." I started but she walked back over laying a finger on my lips.
”It's OK Jay, you had a serious case of information overload, and then there was our first mating... To you it may have seemed like not that big of a deal, but for me it has been 38 years since I've been with someone and I expected to have to wait even longer until my bond mate arrived finally. I never expected that it would be you, nor would I have had any reason to, but when everything suddenly clicked last night...” she trailed off and I was startled to see her eyes wet with tears.
"Oh my God! I'm sorry! Did I do something wrong?” I panicked. I told you I was bad with Women.
She shook her head emphatically and pulled me to her again hugging me, and that was when I could feel the rumbling purr running through her body. ”No, you didn't do anything wrong at all, I'm just so... HAPPY!" she said enthusiastically.
Then something clicked in my brain and I said "Wait, 38 years??? How old are you?"
I’m 61 years old, why do you ask. she answered.
"Because I'm only 32 years old...” I said stunned.
Comprehension dawned on her face and she laughed "Jay, The People are very long lived. The
oldest living person of The People is in Tennessee and he is 267 years old, and he doesn't show many signs of old age except for a few grey hairs in his muzzle. He is the one who started the Clans and is the first of our people here. He is the one who had it the hardest doing this all alone. No one is sure how he initiated the change in himself, but he did and now here we are. I may be almost double your age, but we are barely teenagers really compared to how long we will live. It is also why The People do not reproduce quickly or easily. The normal gestation period for a cub is almost two years and we almost never have twins.
I rolled all of this information over in my mind before I murmured to myself without thinking about it "38 years since the last time you had sex... God I hope I didn't suck...”
Terra burst out laughing causing me to come out of my revelry blinking ”What?”
She sat in a chair and almost fell off it laughing so hard, I just stood there watching thinking back over what had just happened before it clicked that what I had said out loud and my face turned crimson, and then put it in my hands with a groan. ”I can't believe I said that out loud...”
Tears were streaming down her furry face as she doubled over laughing at the look on my face. I just stood there bright red while she tried valiantly to recover enough to breath correctly again and after a couple of minutes she succeeded. ”Oh Jay hon..." she said as she got up and pulled me into a hug. "You did just fine. Trust me, I had no complaints!" she said with a gentle purr. “Also, why are you wearing a gun belt?" she asked curiously.
There was something comforting about being hugged by someone larger and much more powerful than you are. Not to mention someone with warm, soft fur. She was wearing clothes of course, but still... ”Well, I thought that maybe we could go for a walk outside? It's beautiful in here and all, but, I have a craving for someplace high on the mountain overlooking open sky. I'm not sure why, but I've had to find places like that several times in my life, and only a perspective like that, helps clear my head for choices I have to make. Only thing is, I'm not sure how to get out of here.” I said glumly.
"Oh! Well I can help with that. It's almost lunch time and I know the perfect place to take you for what you're talking about. Meet me at the bridge over the river in 30 minutes." She said sounding more excited as she went on. "Now shoo so I can finish up here and I'll meet you at the bridge.”
And with that I was quickly ushered out a side door of the clinic like an annoying child. This had been the second time I'd been ’shoo’d’. I sighed and mentally shrugged, I guess it was easy to shoo someone when they were a third of your weight and several inches shorter. I just sighed and made my way over to the bridge. Once there I leaned on a rail and watched the water flow. I must have gotten lost in my thoughts again because Terra was shaking me fairly hard to get my attention when I finally snapped back into reality with a blink. "Huh? What?" I said looking around.
Terra was watching me with a worried look on her face "I shook your shoulder for five minutes before you came around, are you OK?" she asked worriedly.
”I'm fine.” I said curtly, remembering how I'd been shoo'd away like an annoying child. ”So which way is out?”
Terra blinked like I had slapped her and said "What's wrong Jay?”
"Nothing is wrong, why would anything be wrong?" I asked with a touch of sarcasm. I think a part of me felt it when her stomach sank at my tone. The looks on her face was a mixture of anger and fear and her ears were laying back flat on her head when she said with a touch of heat in her voice "Whatever you issue is, don't point your anger at me! I didn't do anything for you to be mad at me about." She growled.
"You didn't DO anything?" I growled back, fairly well for only a human throat. "You shoo'd me out of your office like an annoying child; you drug me into your office with your tail like I was a misbehaving kid about to be punished. I've been patted on the head, shoo'd out of buildings and talked down to like I'm some kind of fucking moron just because I'm human. I don't need to be patronized Terra. Fuck I don't even expect to be treated like one of The People because I'm not one, but I'll be damned if I'm going to be the clan's fucking pet until I make my decision!" I all but yelled. What the hell was happening to me? I never lost my temper, and here I was blowing up at the one person who was supposed to be my soul bonded mate?
Terra visibly recoiled at the anger, frustration, and helplessness that seemed to explode from Jay. She'd heard that soul pairs shared a kind of empathetic connection that allowed them to know one another on a deeper level but that wasn't supposed to happen right away was it? Then his words registered and she thought back on what exactly had happened and then looked at it from his point of view and admitted to herself that if the roles had been reversed she might have been a bit peeved too. She watched as his expression changed to one of mild shock at what he had said and then watched as he seemed to wilt against the railing of the bridge. He looked tired and much older suddenly to her, as if losing his composure had aged him somehow.
I'm sorry Jay. I guess I wasn't really thinking about how things may look from your side. Plus, other than my patients, I haven't had to worry about someone else's feelings in a long time. Plus I wasn't treating you like a human; I was treating you like one of us honestly. I didn't consider that from your view point, it might seem condescending. This is just normal for us really." She explained as best as she could.
Oddly enough I could feel her sincerity somehow and felt all the worse for it. "I'm sorry I snapped at you. I guess this is all still a lot to take in and I'm not processing it very well." I apologized.
Terra picked up a basket she had sat down behind her and held it up for him to see "Peace offering? Picnic lunch when we get to the area I was telling you about?” she said hopefully.
And now I felt a fleeting hope beat against my awareness at her words, and felt like an ass for making her worry. "That would be nice." I said with a tentative smile.
Terra's ears perked up at Jay's tone and his smile, her tail betraying her happiness. ”Follow me. Please?" At Jay's nod she led them off to one of the tunnels connected to the cavern.
Terra led us through several different caves, most of which were on an upward slope. Eventually we exited through a wide crack in the ceiling where sunlight streamed through. It was a tighter fit for Terra but we both made it out and looking around I noticed we seemed to be on top of one of the smaller mountain tops in the area. Terra led me to what looked like a cliff, and looking down I could see the river running far below. This was the rim of the crater the village was situated in. A Walking over to the other side, we came to a rocky ledge that looked out into the bright blue sky. The smaller peaks were below us and the edge was a drop off that went straight down for hundreds of feet. There was nothing but Terra, me and the sky above. To Terra's nervousness, I sat on the very edge of the ledge, my feet dangling over and looked out over the horizon, instantly I was filled with a type of peace that only this very act ever instilled into me.
Terra watched Jay as he nonchalantly walked right up the edge of the ledge and sat down on the lip. A shiver ran through her body at the thought of sitting out there. He really must be the Korrrona’stha, for only someone meant to have wings, would willingly tempt fate with that much empty air beneath them. Either that or he was missing a key element in his makeup that provided for self preservation. Soul paired to the Korrrona’stha... What were the odds? The one person who was supposed to protect the entire clan, and he was her soul bonded mate. What would he look like if he underwent the change? What color would his fur be? What color would his eyes be? Would he be large or small, tall or short? Would he even decide to change? What if he left and never came back? She just met him yesterday and now the thought of him leaving, caused the bottom to drop out of her stomach. Why couldn't they have met AFTER he went through the change? All of this ran through her mind as she set out a large blanket on the rock and placed the basket on top. She took out a large container that steamed a bit in the cooler air. Inside was a stew she had made specifically for Jay while at work. It was going to be a surprise for that evening but now was good as well. She also pulled out a small loaf of dark brown bread that one of The People baked fresh daily. Next she removed a thermos of hot, spiced, tea that went well with the stew. She set out a couple of large coffee mug style bowls and a couple of spoons and then called out to Jay.
I was completely lost in the view around me. Even if l couldn't personally fly, my mind was soaring on the wind and through the clouds. One by one I examined each and every question that was weighing on my mind, and one by one, I carefully placed pros and cons to each choice and set them aside for later examination. I almost missed it when Terra called my name, I'm fairly sure she had to call more than once. Blinking I turned on the ledge letting more of my leg hang off and I swear I could see her whole body clench when I did so. ”What’s up?" I asked.
Through what sounded like gritted teeth she said "Come have some lunch and be CAREFUL on that ledge before you give me a heart attack.” She pleaded.
I smiled at her tone, and acquiesced to her request moving carefully to the blanket she had set out. I sat down and she handed me a large soup mug filled with what looked like a light colored stew that smelled delicious. After pouring drinks for us both we dug into the meal. After the first bite I stopped and stared at the bowl.
"What's wrong?" she asked worriedly. ”Too spicy? Too salty? Not good?"
"No... It's delicious!" I exclaimed as I tucked into the meal. Terra visibly relaxed with a happy smile as she too dug in. It didn't take us long to polish off the stew and the bread and once done, I laid out on the blanket as Terra laid her head in my lap. I absently trailed my fingers through the fur on her as we both dozed in the warm sunlight; I could feel her purring vibrate through my legs. Stifling a yawn I said “Next time I cook for you... I'm no slouch in the kitchen myself."
Terra just nodded an affirmative as we both laid there. We both must have drifted off for a short bit, because when my eyes opened again, the sun was a bit lower in the sky. Yawning, I gently shook her shoulder waking her as well. "You're not supposed to go back to work are you?” I asked around another yawn.
She yawned as well, her very long tongue curling out in a very canine fashion. She had some VERY sharp looking teeth in her muzzle. Checking the sun she shook her head. “Most everything was routine today and I left a message, that if there were an emergency, where I would be. Plus everyone needs a break now and then.”
Taking a deep breath I said "You know I'm going back home tomorrow right?"
Rolling over and into a sitting position facing me she asked ”You are coming back right?"
I looked out over the high perch we were on and nodded slowly "Next weekend at least. I promised to bring supplies back with me. It's too bad you can't come back with me, see where I live and spend more time together, but..." I broke off gesturing to her.
She got an odd look on her face for a minute before saying "You'd take me home already huh?"
"Why wouldn't I? I have this feeling that being apart for a week is going to feel... I don't know, awkward? Plus it just feels... Right? To be with you. I feel comfortable, completely at ease... When you're not treating me like a kid.” I said the last part teasingly.
I was rewarded with a smack to the back of the head with her tail as she smirked at me. "Don't act like a kid and I won't treat you like a kid." She said with a grin. .
I snorted and leaned forward kissing her nose which caused her to blink and then smile with a light purr. "Yes dear.” I said jokingly.
We stayed on the mountaintop until the sun set behind the mountains and watched the stars come out, with the lack of ambient light from any nearby town, the stars shone in all of their brilliant glory. I would have held her in my lap to watch the stars, but like I said before, she was a good bit bigger than me, so instead I sat in her lap with her arms around me for affection and warmth. She rested her head atop mine as we watched the heavens awaken and her warm, gentle purring was a boon to my soul in some ways. She made me feel like I belonged and that maybe, just maybe, there was a place for me somewhere after all. Eventually we left the surface, slipping back down through the crack in the rock, and down we meandered until we were once again in the valley of The People. We held hands as we walked and didn't speak of anything, just simply enjoyed each other’s company. When we turned down a path I didn't recognize I said "My guest quarters are back that way hon."
"You don't need guest quarters anymore love. Your place is with me now yes?” The last part said with a touch of uncertainty in it.
Smiling, I nodded "Yes you are correct, our place is with each other."
She led us to a modest dwelling on the second level, almost directly above the clinic. Inside, the living area was spacious. She had placed skins and rugs on the floors and walls to help mitigate what would be quite cold in the winter time. She had an old, yet comfortable couch, a table with a couple of chairs and a large... I can't say bed so much as a well appointed nesting place. It was more like a circular and very large mattress covered in blankets and pillows, large enough so that if she wanted to stretch out, no part of her would hand off the sides. There was a desk with a fairly modern laptop on it as well as a modern kitchenette alcove. A nice sized fireplace adorned one wall and was pre-laid for easy lighting. For lighting she had a mixture of energy efficient lamps and candles scatters in various locations. It was a very cozy environment and I noticed that my pack and other stuff had already been set in the corner by the bed. There was still quite a bit of free space in her home. ”You have a very nice home here.” I said admiringly.
She shook her head seriously looking at me. "No, WE have a very nice home. This place is now as much yours, as it is mine, my mate. I want you to always feel welcome here and feel that THIS is home, at least when you're away from yours.” She had her hands clasped in front of her nervously as she watched me, her tail again betraying her nervousness.
"Home..." I said tasting the word for the first time as it was used for something other than my house in the suburbs. I looked around the place and then came back to look at Terra. "I think I can get used to that." I said warmly. "As long as it is with you, mate of my soul."
We made love again that night in our home. It wasn't as awkward as the first time, but the first time is always awkward between two people. We were still learning about each other just like any new couple, and the exploration of each other is something people tend to forget about after being in a relationship for a while. The first few times together, learning each other’s bodies, and how best to show your love and caring for the other person, is something special you only get once with someone. It is something that I will always treasure that I was blessed to have with Terra and I will never forget it.
October 16th, 2016
I awoke to an empty bed early in the morning. Looking around I didn't see Terra anywhere, she must have been called into work or just went to work early, and she was the "doctor" after all. I bathed once again from a basin of water that Terra had left for me. lwonder if The People bathed... Did they sweat like canines? Did they bathe on occasion in the river or someplace else? Taking a bird bath with all of that fur would be a bit problematic I would think. Anyway, I finished my morning ablutions and dressed in my last set of clean clothes. I packed my pack back up and tidied the den. I wasn't sure what Terra had for food in her... OUR den, so I resigned myself to grabbing something on the road back home.
I slung the rifle back into its long case attached to the pack and belted my gun belt back on settling it in place for the hike back. I left the den and made my way down to the clinic to say goodbye to Terra but found the facility empty, absently I wondered about this as I wandered off in search of Michael. Then I realized I had no idea where Michael lived actually. Contemplating this, I decided I would trouble the Elder to get directions to Michael’s place. I made my way to the Elder's den, there were lights on inside so I used the little knocker mounted on the stone by the door. It made a definitely recognizable ‘tack tack tack’ but not so loud as to wake the neighbors. ”Come in." said a pleasant voice. I walked inside to find Beatrice and Michael with mugs of tea in front of them. Michael had his pipe out and the smell of aromatic pipe tobacco scented the air.
"Oh... I was about to ask for directions so I could find you." I said to Michael, then I turned to Beatrice bobbing my head to her “Ma'am." I said politely in greeting.
"Such nice manners this one has." Beatrice said with a smile in my direction.
Michael chuckled looking at me. ”He looks and sounds like an old West sheriff doesn't he?" he said ribbing me.
”Shouldn't you be wearing bones and feathers like a real Shaman?" I asked poking back at him.
Beatrice motioned me to take a seat and held up her mug inquiringly.
"Yes Ma'am, that would be much appreciated. I haven't had my caffeine this morning. Thank you Ma’am." I said politely.
"Suck up." Michael murmured around his pipe.
I scratched the side of my nose with my middle finger which just so happened to be pointing at him which caused him to chuckle. Beatrice placed a steaming mug in front of me, which I took gratefully and then held up my pipe inquiringly to her. She smiled and nodded, so I packed the pipe and lit it offa match and puffed it to life before taking a sip of my tea.
”It's nice to see I'm not the only early riser around here." I said conversationally, as I sipped on the tea.
"Actually many of The People are up early. Some work the gardens; others tend the livestock, some hunt, some fish, some bake... You get the idea. It takes a community to keep everyone going, plus we don't seem to need as much sleep as the average human, perhaps four hours max normally." Beatrice said around her mug.
“Well I guess that would leave more time for work and play each day. Has anyone seen Terra this morning? She was gone when I woke up and she's not in the clinic." I asked curiously puffing on my pipe.
”She came by earlier to speak with me, and then said she was going to be gone for about a week to take care of some personal business. Did she not mention it to you?" Michael asked with a raised brow, his pipe in his hands as he repacked the char.
I shook my head looking thoughtful. "She must enjoy goodbyes as much as I do. I can't blame her really. We did just meet, but the idea of being apart feels... Odd. I can't shake the feeling that it is going to be an unpleasant week." I said staring at the glowing cherry in the center of my pipe. I completely missed the significant look Michael and Beatrice exchanged. ”Michael, can I ask for a guide back out to the trail please? It's gonna take me a lil time to memorize the path back and forth. Also did you get the list of things the village needs? I'll bring them next weekend, plus if you're nice I'll bring you some special coffee." I said the last sentence with an impish expression on my face.
”Are you trying to buy my affections sir? Because it is working..." he said with almost the same expression on his muzzle.
Beatrice rolled her eyes and muttered “Men...” which caused us both to laugh.
We finished our tea and tamped out our pipes, and with a nod to Beatrice, Michael led me out. I followed Michael through the caves and tried to keep an eye open for landmarks so I could maybe try finding my own way one of these days. Eventually we exited the caves and Michael handed me a folded piece of paper. "That's the list of what the community can readily use as well as a list of luxury items that would be nice to have if you have the room for it.” He said then handed me an envelope with cash in it. ”That should cover most of what you can get, I'm sorry there isn't more but we do live on a tight budget.
I handed the envelope back to him shaking my head "I can cover this, hold on to the money for emergencies. I don't have anyone else to support in my life, and I make a fair wage at my job. I'd be happy to help as I can and this is the least I can do.
Michael nodded putting the envelope away. "Thank you. That will mean a lot to The People. Safe journeys and enjoys your week." He said with a mysterious look in his eyes, and then he turned back to the cave and disappeared.
I took my time on the trail back. It wouldn't do to slip and break something this far in the middle of nowhere. I stopped several time along the route to rest owing to my being out of shape. By the time I made it back to where my truck was the sun was at midday and I was happy to see that my truck was still there and in one piece. I unlocked the doors and slung my pack into the backseat along with the rifle and gun belt and then almost jumped out of my skin when someone behind me said "It's about time you got here, I was beginning to wonder if this was the right truck.”
Standing by a tree smirked at me. She had pale skin and fiery red hair, that if not for the pony tail that it was in, looked like it would have been more afro than normal hair with all its curls. She was the same height as me, which was quite unusual to begin with, and her green eyes seemed to glow slightly in the sunlight. Something about the eyes made me feel like I should know her but I couldn't quite place her. Her body was lean and well muscled and lent itself to nice curves, but curves more of shape than excess fat. She had a pleasant, heart shaped back and a cute aquiline_nose. For some reason I sensed extreme amusement from her, but I figured I was just reading that from the smirk on her face.
"I’m waiting for you because I'm going with you." She said still grinning.
I raised an eyebrow. "I don't know who you think you are, but why in the world would you be going with me?" I asked.
"l THINK I'm your mate, and you invited me." She said still smirking. ”Unless you've changed your mind that is."
That sentence caused everything to grind to a halt in my brain. "Terra?" I asked in awe.
She grinned and nodded walking over to me.
"But, how?" I said gesturing to her appearance.
"It's an artifact made by Michael. It is how we go into town to shop. It is a type of... Perception filter I guess you could call it. Humans don't want to believe anything but humans exist so they already don't want to see us; this artifact just helps push that along a bit more. It lets them see what their minds can accept." She said then took a leather pouch secured by a thong around her neck off and in a wavering of light, kind of like a mirage, Terra was there in her normal furry form. Then she put it back on again and the redhead was back. "l admit I haven't been out in the world much, so this will be a bit of an adventure for me, unless you've changed your mind?" she asked worriedly.
I shook my head and said "No, I don't mind, you just caught me off guard is all." I walked around to the other side of the truck opening the door for her. ”Please, get in.”
She walked over and then grabbed at the air behind hir pulling something around in front of her then sat down. I looked at her curiously. "My tail, I only look different, I didn't actually change into a human, I have to remember to be careful of my tail is all." She explained.
"Ahhhhh, that makes sense. Well buckle up and we will head to my house." I said, and then closed her door.
The drive back home was filled with her views on all of the new vehicles on the road as well as all of the bells and whistles of my truck. When I introduced her to my music collection, I received mixed reviews on the variety of songs as well as what constituted music nowadays. We chatted about inane things while I drove and she spent a good bit of time just watching the outside world. Her reaction to the traffic when we got into Denver was amusing. She wanted to know when Denver had gotten so many people living here, so I spent the remainder of the trip explaining the legalization of pot and the expanding IT market in the city. We finally made it to my home in a quiet suburb outside Denver and I pulled into the garage and closed the garage door.
"You sure do have a lot of stuff in your garage.” She commented.
”I get bored easily so I try to find things to keep me occupied so I don't go batty." I said.
I unlocked the door and gestured for her to enter first. She walked in and stood there looking around the modest home. I came in behind her and closed the door. My house isn't large by any means but is more than enough for one man living alone. From the garage you enter a small living area directly connected to the kitchen and the dining room on the right. On the left are stairs going up and down to the bedrooms and the bathrooms. You could tell it was the home of a single guy. While it wasn't trashed, it was definitely cluttered with pizza boxes and empty cans of various beverages. There were firearms on the wall and in display cases not to mention the gun display cabinet holding a variety assortment of rifles and shotguns.
”Ummm, sorry, I wasn't expecting company.” I said embarrassed by the state of my house.
Terra looked around at everything ”How long have you lived alone?" she asked in a quiet voice.
"l had roommates for awhile a couple of years ago." I said somewhat defensively setting my pack on the couch.
She turned and lifted an eyebrow at me ”You know that isn't what I meant."
"I was married once, but that was over 8 years ago. My last relationship was before my roommates moved in, so probably three or four years ago. What's that matter anyway? There isn't anything wrong with living alone, a lot of people live alone." I said both embarrassed and angry at being embarrassed.
”And how often do you leave your house?" she asked intently.
”What business is it of yours how I live my life?” I asked heatedly. "It's my life isn't it? What does it matter if I don't leave my house? Who cares if l hide away here? It's my house after all. Why wouldn't I spend time in it?” I said getting angrier. I snatched up my pack and carried it upstairs to my bedroom feeling embarrassed and humiliated at both my social life, or lack thereof as well as being upset that I had gotten upset. Her questions had picked at an old scab and it was bleeding again.
She watched me go upstairs without saying anything as I departed. I went into the bedroom and looked around at the mess of both clean clothes and dirty clothes lying everywhere. I started putting things away like they should have been the entire time and then made the rumpled bed tidying up the space a bit, and then I moved into the bathroom where I cleaned and tidy there as well making it look like it hadn't just been a complete wreck. When I came back out of the bathroom, Terra was standing in the doorway of the bedroom, she had removed the artifact that allowed for her human appearance and was now standing furry at the door. "I'm sorry if I opened old wounds. I've been with The People so long; I forgot what it was like to be alone honestly." She said in a low murmur.
”Yeah, well I haven't forgotten." I said bitterly. ”Every relationship failed and the only common denominator was me. Do you have any idea what it feels like to know that every relationship you've ever had failed because it was your fault? You start to think you're completely broken, that maybe you were never meant to find anyone. Maybe you were meant to be alone. Maybe you're so utterly broken that there is no one out there compatible at all and THEN finding out that the only person you're actually compatible with is an alien from a different world because you're one too but you just don't know it yet; that you were actually made to be with each other and no longer have a choice; the battle in my head about being angry at losing the choice and the elation of finding someone finally. I am so fucking broken up here." I said tapping my skull. ”That I am fairly certain, that if we weren't actually destined to be with each other, you would have run in the opposite direction so far, there would have been a smoke trail." I said as bitterness and anger coloring my tone as I sat down angrily on the edge of the bed.
Terra walked up and sat beside me on the bed, her increased mass causing the bed to sink considerably. This of course caused me to lean towards her to such a degree that either I had to choose to move further away or lean against her. Being emotionally wrung out, I just decided to lean against her instead of moving. She seemed to consider her words carefully before she spoke. “Granted, being literally made for each other makes things a bit easier when it comes to relationships and who knows if we would have ended up together if that didn't exist. BUT, I am a little hurt that you have so little faith in me as to think I would actually run away from you. Even if we had not had sympathetic souls, I would like to think that we would have become good friends at least and if pair bonds didn't exist, I would also like to think that I would have taken the time to get to know you before passing any kind of judgement. I will tell you though; your story is not unique. I would say that 90% of The People that have come to us tell the same self tails of their lives. Our souls crave others of the same type and being human means they don't exist, at least as far as our minds tell us. Your brain knows that we cannot exist and therefore the soul feels... Lost, and alone." She murmured gently. "It has nothing to do with being broken; it has to do with being around the wrong people, the wrong souls. Now you've found your people, the souls you belong with and you do not have to be alone anymore, and neither do I..." She said the last part with such wonder in her voice that I looked at her. The look on her face could only be described as full of wonder with happiness lighting her eyes from behind. Maybe she had been just a lonely as I was.
I took her larger hand in mine and absently traced patterns in the fur on the back of her hand as I leaned against her. "I'm sorry I got upset. Some wounds never feel like they heal all the way and I've always been a bit touchy about being lonely. I kept telling myself that I didn't need anyone, but the only person I was lying to was myself, and my heart knew it. I felt like I was dying a bit every time I had to justify being alone to myself. Oddly enough, I've even considered, or maybe fantasized, about selling everything and just disappearing for a while. Tell my family not to worry about me and that I would keep in contact but I never worked up the courage for such a thing. I guess that idea is a lot more real now.” I said more as a deeper thought to myself than to anyone else.
Terra squeezed my hand in hers before saying ”It is always an option but not mandatory. We have a few who have decided to hold on to their human lives. They help The People in other ways but will probably die human." She said sadly.
"And you cannot leave The People because you are their healer. It isn't like you could just move in with me here and live the rest of your life wearing a human disguise and just being together on weekends would be, I think, difficult for both of us.” I said thoughtfully. ”l guess that only leaves on real option, I sell everything, settle my accounts and live with The People... I'll need some time to think on it though, is that ok?" I asked.
Terra squeezed my hand again; this time slightly painfully as she said "You decide what is best for you. No matter what, we are still soul bonded. We will always me mates. But I will admit, it would be wonderful to be together like a real mated couple." She said wistfully.
She took a few minutes looking around the bedroom noting more gun storage cabinets and a few firearms out and about. . ”Are you preparing for the next war?" she asked half jokingly.
”Nah, l just collect really. Nothing else to spend my money on, at least-these can serve a purpose. If I decide to live with you and The People, I will be bringing these with me. They can be used for hunting or defense." I stated.
”The rifles will come in handy for hunting yes, so will the shotguns. I'm sure the hunters would be ecstatic to have new firearms to make their life a bit easier.” She agreed.
”Why don't you make a list of everything that I actually own, that would benefit the clan if I brought it with me?" I asked.
She nodded looking around at everything ”That might not be a bad idea, everything that can help the clan would definitely be welcome, I'll do that this week while you're at work." She said looking at the stuff in my room from a different light. ”Maybe I'll even clean up a bit.” She said ruefully.
"Like I said, I wasn't expecting company." I said turning a little pink in the ears.
"Yes I know you said that, but still..." she said as she stood and walked over to the dresser. On top was a picture of my parents, sister and me from when I had graduated from boot camp. “Is this your family?"
Looking over to where she was I said "Yeah. My sister is married now with a couple of kids. Mom still gives me grief about not having any kids yet. I keep telling her that I'd rather have no children ever, than have children with the wrong person. The kids are the ones that truly suffer in that kind of environment."
She nodded in agreement looking at the picture for a minute longer before setting it down gently. "Any more pictures?” she asked curiously.
"Aye, sure, follow me.” So I walked her around the house showing her pictures of family, military awards, odds and ends, and the stuff someone might collect over thirty odd years of life. When we got to my computer room, she stopped and just blinked before saying “Tech nerd much?" l just laughed. I had to admit maybe I had gone overboard a touch. I always custom built my own setups and this one was no slouch. Part of the underside of the desk I had converted in a mini rack mount for three different servers and a SANS I had picked up second hand. I had completely reconditioned them and upgraded the components. Attached to them was a quad-mounted display system as well as the latest in virtual reality technology. On the wall directly ahead, I had mounted a very large flat screen television that was displaying the various search functions I was running as well as system status and information displays. The rest of the room was tidy and a tad warm from the heat being generated from the system. Flipping a switch, the custom exhaust system I had started to quietly pull the heat from the servers and vented it outside of the house. The walls were decorated with artwork I had commissioned from various online artists. While I may not have many friends in the real world, my online friend base was quite large and most of them shared the same tastes I had about various things. Nothing on the walls was of XX origin, just different from what mainstream would call popular and I honestly didn't care, they made me happy and that was all that mattered. Terra walked over to look at the art on the wall. Most of them were various concepts of what I looked like in my dreams. Most had a commonality and she
looked at them all.
"Is this what you see in your dreams?” she asked curiously.
"Yes and no. I don't ever see myself except for various body parts in glimpses and flashes. Mainly I'm looking out of my own eyes so I see others but not really myself. I have... feelings about what I look like is all. I do know that I always imagine grey fur, the color of mist in the mountains before the sun rises. That detail has always stuck in my mind, almost like it was supposed to be camouflage while I watched out for The People nestled in the rocks and the fog of the mountains around me.” I explained half remembering my dreams half feeling something deep inside me.
Terra absently ran a finger over one of the larger prints tracing the lines of it, her eyes thoughtful and lost. "You're very handsome. I noticed that each picture has a ring with two feathers attached to the thumb joint of the wing, is that something you remember?" She murmured.
”For some reason that one point always stuck in my mind as well." I said "They are commissioned pictures after all. I can look however I like in them, however, I've never had six pack abs before." l joked.
"Oh you won't have to worry about extra weight love, the change will burn that off and more. During the process, you will be almost force fed calories and protein as fast as you can take it in. You will be changing in size and mass and you'll need energy to convert or you'll end up wasting away to a husk. It isn't a pleasant thing to see. It has only happened once and every clan medic has to watch the film and read the material on it. If you DO decide to undergo the change, I will personally force feed you until you explode to keep you alive. I just found you and I am NOT losing you now." She half growled in dedication.
"So you think I'll be handsome?" I asked timidly.
She turned to me and laid a large hand on the side of my cheek affectionately caressing it with her thumb. "l already think you're handsome, your new form, if you choose it, will just be more of the same. I've been waiting for you for so long that whatever form you decide on, I will be happy to have you in my life no matter what. I have known loneliness as well my mate, and now, I no longer feel alone. I accept you for who you are here." She said tapping my chest above my heart. "This is what really matters above all else. You are a good man Jay no matter the shell on the outside." And with that she leaned in and kissed me. It was several minutes later before she broke the kiss and we were both breathing a bit hard afterwards.
I took Terra's hand and led her upstairs to the kitchen. "l think it is time for dinner.” I opened the freezer and rummaged around and pulled out two large steaks that I had been saving for a special occasion and today counted. I managed to find a couple of large potatoes that hadn't shriveled up yet from the last time I had made baked potatoes and pulled out a bag of pre-mixed salad. "What say you to a nice steak dinner?" I asked grinning.
"Oh yes please!" she exclaimed enthusiastically.
Terra put her charm back on and. we went into the backyard and fired up the grill. While it was warming up, I thawed the steaks in the microwave being careful to not cook them, just thaw them. Once they were thawed, I wrapped the potatoes in plastic wrap and stuck them in the microwave and hit the ‘potato’ button. Then we sat on the back patio while the steaks cooked sipping on some wine I had in the fridge. After a few minutes the food was ready and we sat down with a really nice meal. We ate in companionable silence enjoying our food while the sun set outside. Once we were finished, we cleaned up the kitchen and took a place on the old leather couch to relax and do some snuggling.
"I was curious; does everyone in the village bathe at the river? Do you even have to bathe?” I asked curiously.
"Are you saying I stink?" Came a tart reply.
"Not at all love.” I laughed. "I was just curious is all, I mean I'm sure you don't take bird bathes with all of that fur, and while I'm sure the cold water of the river probably doesn't phase you much, I would think that a nice hot shower or bath would be missed eventually."
"Actually we do have a bath house. Since we actually have power on site, we run an industrial sized hot water heater into a bathing pool. The water is filtered and recycled constantly. We don't bathe that often though, we don't tend to start smelling unless we are working really hard or have gone long enough for too much oil to build up in our fur; perhaps once a week or once every couple of weeks is the norm for everyone." She said.
”Well I have a very large garden tub upstairs. The bathroom isn't huge or anything, but I DO enjoy a nice soak, and even with your size, I think we could both fit fairly comfortably. I'll wash your back if you wash mine?" I said impishly.
So that is what we did. Iran a huge tub of hot water adding a few smell good salts, lit a few candles and lead Terra inside the bathroom. She was quite receptive to the romantic atmosphere I was trying to provide, and I even played some soft music from her particular time frame in history. It was almost a tight fit in the tub, but we managed. We sat and chat about nothing in particular as we bathed each other and then relaxed until the water turned tepid. It took four towels just to dry enough water out of Terra's fur so we could then blow dry the rest of it. I spent the next half hour blow drying and brushing her fur as she sat with a dreamy expression on her face. When we were done, her fur was heavenly soft. We retired to bed early because I had to get up at Sam for work. I gave her a credit card to use while she was staying with me and she could do most of the shopping for the clan online and it would be delivered in time for next weekend. We made love again that night, this time it was slow and gentle as we took the time to tease and explore each other and the culmination was explosive. We both fell exhausted into each other's arms and fell fast asleep.
October 17th 2016
I dreamed again that night but this time there was no battle, no death of kith and kin. Terra and I were in our den, and watched amused as our son and daughter played by the fire. My wings were up high and resting on the back of the couch out of the way. It was remarkable how flexible they were when you needed to either use them or move them out of the way. Terra and I sat on my old leather couch watching the kids play. Our daughter had tiny wings on her back, she would follow in her father's footsteps and I could feel the pride bubbling up in my heart at the thought. She was already an adventurous soul and got into more trouble than she really should have while happily leading her twin brother down the road of mischief. I remember looking over at Terra, a happy, joyous smile on hir face as I rested a large hand on her swollen stomach as child number three slumbered beneath her heart quietly. I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of love and pride at our family, the complete sense of belonging and joy at every moment I spent with them. That feeling lasted until the shrill tones of my alarm roused me from sleep. I sat up somewhat groggily in the darkness of the bedroom. Terra was still asleep beside me, dead to the world. I got out of bed as quietly as I could which was harder than I thought when I realized Terra's tail was firmly twined around my leg. It took me a few moments to disengage her tail and get into the bathroom. I showered and shaved, brushed my teeth and generally groomed myself for the day to come. I managed to dress in the dark, and like I remember my father do so long ago, I bend over her and hissed her head. Closing the bedroom door behind me, I went downstairs and made a cup of coffee. Reluctantly I climbed into my truck and went to work.
Terra woke much later after Jay had left. She had been having such a wonderful dream. She had seen Jay for the first time in her dreams this night and he looked much the same as he did in the
pictures he had commissioned downstairs. His fur was indeed a deep grey, but she also saw the various shade differences in it that made a kind of blurring camouflage that would blend in with rock and stone on the mountains. His wings were of the same coloration on the outside and on the inside a deep black that would trap heat when worn around him like a cloak. His eyes were a light blue bordering on grey and practically glowed as he watched their cubs play. His ears were longer than most and a bit wider for increased hearing and his fur was much thicker than hers for added insulation for flying in the clouds. He had light colored spikes over his eyebrows and along his jawbone protecting his throat as well as a line of them down the length of his tail and up his back to the top of his head, that normally stayed hidden beneath his fur unless he triggered them for protection. The tip of his tail and along his forearms were relaxed fins that he used for aerial acrobatics and maneuverability, they remained flat along their respective appendages until he needed them and could be used in battle if the need arose. He was taller than her by almost two feet and probably outweighed her by only slightly less than double her weight, when not pregnant of course, and the outlines of his muscles could be seen even through his thicker fur and when he purred, it sounded more like the rumbling of thunder on the horizon than the purr of a large feline. He always smiled now, he'd once been so serious and sad until he had accepted his place in the clan and undergone the change. He did retain one thing from his past though; around his neck was an aged silver necklace and pendant that his mom had given him that he had never removed since that day. It was his lucky charm and his link to who he used to be. His parents still thought he was working overseas and he still kept in email contact with them and even spoke to them on the phone a couple of times. They didn't seem to have noticed that his voice was deeper now and were happy that he was happy with his place in life now. Eventually they would have to cut ties with them, but for now, things were going well. She laid her hand on her swollen belly feeling the life contained therein. They had cubs now, and their daughter had tiny wings that marked her as her father's daughter and the next Korrrona’stha of the tribe and would stand by her father's side for a long time to come. Her heart felt like it would burst with pride, who knew that they would be the first to have twins in their clan?
When she finally woke, she lay there basking in the feelings her dreams had given her. Were they prophesy? Were they images of things to come? Or were they just dreams? She had to admit that a large part of her hoped they were images of things to come. To have an actual family and a real mate to share everything with, not that Jay wasn't a real mate, but if he were to commit to The People and undergo the change, then they would be a true family in all things. She sighed to herself at the thought and got up out of the ridiculously comfortable bed, they were going to have to bring the mattress with them if he decided to stay, of course if he underwent the change, there was no way he was going to fit on it, she thought sadly. Oh well, can't have everything you want now can you? That's how you become spoiled. She grabbed a brush and went to work on her fur straightening it from sleep and made her way down stairs where she found the electric kettle and a selection of teas in the back of his pantry. Fortified with caffeine and the cleaning supplies she found under his sink, she got down to work.
It had been another long boring day at work. They joy of working government IT. If nothing was broken, you spent a lot of time twiddling your fingers. What it basically boiled down to is that I got paid to sit on my ass for eight hours and do nothing just in case something broke. Talk about job satisfaction. I sighed and headed home. I popped the garage door as I turned into the driveway and stopped short of actually going inside. The garage was... clean?!? Everything was ordered neatly and tidy, the floor looked like it had been swept and mopped. I killed the engine and got out of the truck. I stepped cautiously into the garage and smelled Pine Sol and other cleaning materials. It was well organized and didn't look anything like my garage anymore. I cautiously opened the door leading into the house and stepped inside. Every window in the house was open and sunlight streamed into the place. In here everything was clean as well. The kitchen was spotless, the living room was spotless, and the dining area... you guessed it, spotless. Calling out into the house I queried. "Terra? Are you here?"
“Up here!” came the muffled reply.
Going upstairs, l found Terra up to her muzzle in hot water and bubble bath. I leaned against the doorway with my arms crossed over my chest grinning. ”Two baths in two days?" I teased her.
"I clean your entire house and all I get is jokes?" she said indignantly, yet the twinkle in her eyes gave her away, but instead I teased right along.
I counterfeited a face of fear and cowered in the doorway. ”I'm sorry or great and power beast, please don't eat me!"
She let out a snort that sent bubbles flying everywhere "Why would I eat you? You probably taste terrible." She poked back.
I made a lewd gesture with my hips before saying "You should taste this; it might be more to your liking." I said waggling my eyebrows at her.
She sat stunned for a minute before bursting out laughing which caused her to slide in the tub and completely dunk herself in the water. She quickly lurches back up into breathable air as she hacked water out of her muzzle and nose still laughing. I couldn't help it; I almost fell over laughing myself at the site of a bedraggled Terra dripping water from her snout. It took us a couple of minutes to recover from our fit of giggles and when we did, I sat on the bathroom counter and smiled at her ”That was almost as good as the dream I had last night." I said wistfully.
Her ears perked forward as she looked at me ”I had a wonderful dream last night as well, I really didn't want to wake up this morning because of it” She said a look of remembrance in her eyes. "What did you dream about?"
Recalling the dream made me embarrassed for some reason "Oh, it's probably silly, it was only a dream after all." I hedged.
”Awww come on, tell me? PLEASE?!? I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." She wheedled.
I just rolled my eyes and laughed. ”OK... OK!!! I'll tell you nosy woman. Well we were back in our den sitting on the couch. There was a fire in the fireplace crackling quite nicely and...” here I took more of a deep breath before blurting out "our kids were playing in front of the fire and you were pregnant with number three..." I know I probably turned three different shades of red but I soldiered on. ”I remember how proud I felt because our daughter had tiny little wings on her back and how at peace I was surrounded by my mate and offspring happily in our home." I said remembering that feeling with a regretful sigh. I was still looking at the floor blushing and she never said a word so I continued. "I know it's silly, but it was a dream after all, nothing to take seriously I'm sure." I continued to wait for Terra didn't say a word so I finally looked up at her. She was staring at me as ifl had grown a second head all of a sudden so I quickly added. "It was just a dream! Please don't look at me like I'm some kind of perverted weirdo." I said plaintively.
She shook her head as if she were coming out of some kind of haze before saying "I had the same dream, except I was me. I saw you, the changed you, for the first time. I saw our cubs and I could feel the life of our third slumbering inside me... Our cubs were twins, the first born of our clan. You were huge, strong and handsome. There was a happiness, a joy, in your eyes I had never seen before." She said in a near whisper. "We shared a dream." She said in awe. "It is a sign, a premonition of our future if you join the clan and go through the change." She stated staring into my eyes with a sort of intensity that spoke of a yearning buried so deep, it was afraid to come to light.
One either wilted or flourished under such a gaze, and I tried to bare it as best I could. There was a hope, a yearning in her eyes that embarrassed me. Here I was holding onto a life that never truly fulfilled me in any way. I had always felt unfulfilled in everything that I did, I felt like I was simply meandering through life without any direction other than that of survival. I lived a version of groundhogs day every day of the week, never moving forward and desperately trying to keep from being pushed back. What was I really holding onto? Did I really want the life I had now so much that I would fight against the hope that shone in Terra's eyes? Would I deny the future promise of a family, of happiness and fulfillment that joining The People would bring? Would I had on to my old life with tooth and nail when there was absolutely zero happiness in it, or would I capitulate and follow my heart, my soul, into a new life where every part of me knew I belonged but my head refused to accept? Where did I want my life to go ultimately? Did I want to continue to slog through life as it was now? The same boring, unfulfilling job day in and day out, or did I want to follow where my heart and soul told me I belonged? Did I want an actual family of my own with a soul mate that I belonged with and a people that needed me? All of these thoughts blazed through my mind at the speed of thought as I gazed into those green eyes that watched me with such longing and such unbridled hope that I truly did feel embarrassed that it had taken me this long to realize that what I truly feared was stepping into the unknown, stepping into an alien world quite literally.
Blinking, I cleared my head and stepped from the bathroom into the bedroom, I think I heard a choked sob come from the bathroom, but I had something in mind. Opening an old box, I pulled out what I was looking for and stepped quietly back into the bathroom. Terra had her head in her hands and she was crying. I think something broke in my heart a bit because it sent a wrenching stab of pain through me at her perceived pain but I stepped to the tub and knelt beside it. "Terra? Don't cry my love, please don't cry." I said pulling one of her hands away from her face. She looked at me with tears streaming from her eyes, and the hope I saw before, all but dead. "Shhhh... It will be OK love." And with those words, I closed the clasp of the item I had retrieved from that small box around her wrist. It was a thick, silver chain laced with black leather. Each end had the head of a wolf and there was a ring binding them together, nose to nose. "I don't know how the people do it, but with this item, I pledge my heart, body and soul to you and The People. Will you be the mate of my soul for as long as the stars burn in the sky? Will you be my family?” I asked almost choking on the words as a damn seemed to break inside me and years of loneliness finally let loose all of the pain that had been buried even without my knowing it. A river of tears seemed to flow forth from my eyes, all of the pain and sadness I had been holding back for so long finally let loose in a tide of healing I didn't realize I needed.
Terra yanked me into her soggy embrace pulling me into the tub fully clothed as she cried and I cried as well. We held one another in a wet embrace while a catharsis ran through the both of us cleansing our souls, preparing them for the next step in our lives together as she choked out between sobs. "Yes, by my soul and heart yes..."
We spent the rest of the week in a state of bliss; a kind of bliss that only comes from making a truly life altering decision and feeling the pressure of it being lifted from your shoulders. We completed the shopping for the clan and l purchased a decent sized trailer to haul some stuff back with. Terra make a fairly lengthy list of items that l had that would come in handy for us as well as the clan as a whole. We back the trailer into the garage so that it could be packed quickly without my nosy neighbors pestering the hell out of me. Terra wrote ahead to the clan telling them of my decision and my inbox was flooded with congratulations and well wishes from a plethora of people. It would take several trips to get everything we wanted to keep back to the clan home, but we had time. In the first shipment we brought what furniture she wanted for our den, my firearms, what food and supplies I had in my pantries and all of the tools in the garage, ALL of them. Like l had told Terra I tinker a lot so the amount of tools that was loaded was staggering. How we were going to get them all to the clan home was beyond me but Terra assured me it wouldn't be a problem. When were done with the first load, the house looked much emptier.
October 21 2016
The drive back down was slow going, the trailer was loaded down to close to the truck's haul limit and you could tell it was putting a strain on the engine. Eventually we made it to the trail head. Michael was there waiting for us and he motioned me to stay in the truck as he walked over to an innocuous looking boulder and made some kind of motions over it. The boulder wavered and vanished revealing another rough, yet drivable trail; he then came over and hopped into the back of the truck. He slapped the top of the truck twice to signal he was secure and I took the trail. It was rough and slow going but eventually we came to a small tree sheltered clearing with a couple of other vehicles parked in it, most covered with tarps. Twenty very large members of the clan were waiting and attacked the trailer with humorous conversation and eager fervor. In very short time the trailer was completely empty. Terra had told the movers which items were to go to our den and the rest were taken to where they were needed most. There were a small group of dedicated hunters for the clan and the lead of the group came over expectantly and l grinned. I opened the back door of the truck and started pulling out rifles, shotguns and various handguns laying them out as well as boxes of collected ammo. His eyes looked a little wild once I unloaded them all.
”Some of these are classics from World War II in complete working order. I'd like to keep them for sentimental value, but the rest are modern hunting rifles that the clan is welcome to use. There are only a couple of others I would prefer to keep for sentimental reasons as well but I'll show you those later. I also brought reloading supplies so tell your people to police their brass when they shoot and I'll see about getting dyes for the rest." I explained; The lead hunter grinned and nodded passing out the weapons to everyone and quickly disappeared back into the caves with them.
Michael stood to one side a grin on his old muzzle. "So decided to stay after all eh?" he quipped.
”I figured, I probably should." I said solemnly ”l mean you're on your last legs as old as you are, so someone will need to be around to take care of everyone once you succumb to your dotage." I said with a completely straight face.
This caused Terra to snicker and Michael to glower at both of us. I managed to maintain a completely innocent look and he growled ”Yup, someone is going for a swim."
”You sure you want me around?” I asked impishly.
Michael just rolled his eyes heavenward and motioned for us to follow him. I payed special attention to the path going in noting as much detail as I could so I would remember for later. I was going to have to learn this sooner or later and now was as good as any to try. Michael led us to the house of the Elder and Terra paused outside slightly nervous. I turned and looked at her with a raised eyebrow. ”Coming my mate?"
Terra licked her lips nervously before saying "Are you sure I'm invited? I mean, this is a meeting of the Three." And she said Three as if she were talking about heads of state.
I looked at Michael with an eyebrow raised and he shook his head slightly. "Oh, well, sorry love. I didn't know this was going to be THAT kind of meeting." I said in apology.
Actually, Terra looked relieved to not be invited and smiled at me. "Don't worry love, I'll go arrange our new stuff in the den, and I'll see you when you're done. She gave me a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek and headed out.
Michael and I went inside and found Beatrice sitting at her table with three mugs laid out steaming in the cool evening. I nodded to her saying "Ma'am." And took a seat in front of one of the steaming mugs while Michael took the other. Beatrice looked at us both before turning to me and saying "So, you made your decision?"
I took a sip of the hot tea and nodded "I did a lot of soul searching and realized that the only part of me that was really balking at the idea was my brain. It still thought this was all a hallucination of some kind and that I'd wake up in a hospital somewhere." I snorted "The rest of me knew my life belonged with Terra and The People, even our dreams told us so." I stated wryly. ”When one person dreams something it's one thing, when their mate dreams the same dream at the same time, well, it's pretty hard to ignore the implications of something like that.”
Beatrice's eyes widened slightly "You had a shared dream?" she asked.
I just nodded taking another drink from the mug.
"Well, that doesn't happen very often, I'd say there is more pulling you towards us and Terra than a normal soul calling." She said thoughtfully. "Not that I am complaining mind you, it just seems you're being called to The People more urgently than most. I'm not sure if that bodes good or ill tough." She stared into her tease as if seeking answers but she had said her peace and was now in silent contemplation.
"I still have things to take care of back home before I can leave and join altogether. I need to get rid of all of my junk that I'm not bringing, sell my house, quit my job, and arrange my financials... I can leave the selling of the house to a proxy and have them deposit the funds into my account. It's a good thing I managed to pay off everything before this happened." I said ruefully.
"You’ll have plenty of time; it's not like you're going to start changing tomorrow." Michael said.
"We have to hold the ceremony before that can happen, but you can start studying up on laws and traditions of The People, and take your time to get to know everyone in the clan. You'll be responsible for them before you know it."
I made a face as I thought about that. I had been military for a good while and I guess this wouldn't be much different than being responsible for a bunch of privates on their first tour but it was still intimidating. On the up side, there were only about 27 people I would have to worry about.
Michael handed me an e-Reader and I gave him a quizzical look. "Rules and laws of the clan." He said by way of explanation. “One of the founding Korrrona'stha wrote them up and they were approved by the founding People. You'll also find approved punishments for rule breaking as well as emergency procedures for various issues that have arose over the years. Once you've undergone the change, then one of the elder Korrrona'stha will travel here to teach you the things only another Korrrona’stha can teach. For now just read over what's on the reader and we will discuss it over the weekend, but right now, I think your mate might appreciate your company. We'll talk more in the morning."
I said good evening to everyone and exited the building. Concentrating slightly, I oriented on Terra and made my way to our den. She must have sensed I was coming because she was waiting at the door when I walked in. She had arranged the items we decided to keep for ourselves around the den. The old leather couch looked good in the lounging area and the old, wooden gun display rack had been set along a back wall with the firearms I wanted to keep secured inside. The few pieces of artwork I had wanted to keep had been secured to the stone walls and looked quite nice. In what had once been a sparsely furnished computer room for Terra, now housed my entire computer build and desk as well as hers. It had the feel of some kind of computer command center. Why all of the computer equipment you might ask? Well when your only link to the outside world is the internet, it pays to have good equipment, plus I had some ideas about making the clan network more secure from outside intrusion as well. The sleeping area had more blankets and pillows now and the small café table I had had in my dining area was beside the kitchen. The various dishes and cooking utensils had been stored away and the den looked more... homey... Terra watched him expectantly. "l knew we forgot something." I said in consternation.
Looking surprised and anxious she said "What? What did we forget?"
"I think we forgot the kitchen sink." I said with a smirk
When your significant other growls at you it's one thing, when she is also over six feet tall, well muscled, and wolven in appearance, it's another story. So I gasped and cringed and stuttered out ""D..d..d..don't hurt me!!!" I got a tail upside my head for my acting abilities. "OW!" I said rubbing my head grinning.
She just sniffed and said "Serves you right!” I managed a credible puppy dog look expression and said in a pitiful voice. "Don't you love me anymore?"
"I’ll show you!" she said and picked me up, threw me over her shoulder, and carried me to bed. I won't bore you with the details of what happened next, but she definitely convinced me that she still loved me!
November 15th 2016
In the intervening weeks, I had finished cleaning out my house. I sold what I didn't want, gave away what I couldn't sell, and got rid of what I couldn't give away. The house sold in only two weeks and for a chunk more than I was asking for it. Hurrah for a booming housing market. I quit my job, to the great consternation of my boss. I was even nice enough to give a two week notice, but I took the next two weeks off because of my saved vacation time. I’m nice, not a Saint.
I rolled all my monies over into a retirement account to perhaps accrue interest and my military retirement was shunting to a new account as I closed everything else out. I brought the last load, the truck and the trailer back to the clan in the middle of November. There was already snow in the shady places in the mountains and a real snow storm wasn't far off. I covered both the truck and the trailer against the elements and made my way, all by myself, through the caves back to the valley of The People. There were actually more People than I thought. While there were 27 adults, well 28 now, there was a small herd of children as well; five to be exact. They ranged in age from two to eight years of age and they were an inquisitive lot. They didn't see humans very often and I was an instant sensation to them. Children of The People were watched by everyone, it takes a community to raise a child, as the saying goes. It didn't take long before I made friends with all of them and a couple of them had a bad habit of following me around everywhere. Before too long, it was time to undergo the ceremony for the change.
The valley was bathed in moonlight from the pregnant moon above. The people were gathered in the town center bathed in moonlight. They no longer wore their cloaks even with the lowered temperatures outside. I wore clothes, mainly because, to me, it was cold. L don’t have a nice winter coat so I had to make due with clothing. Michael stepped forward and The People gathered around close. "My friends! We are gathered here tonight to welcome Jeremiah Carter to the clan of The People. He has become soul bonded with Terra Kindtouch and we all heard her accept him!” he said with a wicked grin at me. This of course made everyone gathered laugh at the memory. "Tonight he undergoes the ceremony of change. Are there any here who would deny him that right?” With these words he waited patiently for a couple of minutes before continuing. "The People have spoken. Jeremiah Carter, do you, without reservation accept your place with The People? Do you, without reservation, truly request to undergo the change and join with The People as one?” he asked watching me expectantly.
"I, Jeremiah Carter, do ask, with honest love in my heart for The People, to undergo the ceremony of change and to become one with The People, now and forever." I stated solemnly. Michael smiled and nodded then continued. ”Brothers and sisters, it is time for the ceremony of change. Lend your hearts, your souls, and your voices to Jeremiah Carter so that he may finally be what his soul truly tells him that he is. Let the ceremony begin."
With those words, 27 voices started a low thrumming sound, as every eye closed in concentration. The sound was like the waves of the ocean beating against me. The thrumming started to change in pitch and tenor as The People sought a sympathetic resonance with my soul and once hit, my body locked straight as an arrow. The People saw this and increased their volume as my body began to shake in response to their song as it swelled into a crescendo of sound. My-body continued to shake in reaction and then... blackness... I was flying again; the wind ruffling the ruff around me face and neck; the clouds gently caressed my body and slid along my wings like the touch of a lost lover. My nose caught a scent on the wind and I followed it. I came to a mountain top that flickered with the flames of a fire. There was a small, black, silhouette against the flames... I landed on the edge of the cliff walking forward, folding my wings around my shoulders like a cloak against the mountain chill. It was a human, and he was staring at me without fear in his eyes. I looked down on this tiny, frail man before me and something sparked in the back of my mind. I knew this person.
"I, Jeremiah Carter, do ask, with honest love in my heart for The People, to undergo the ceremony of change and to become one with The People, now and forever.” The human said solemnly.
The name rang bells in my mind. The human started to shake and distantly I could hear the call of my People. They were asking me to come home. The humans started to emit a soft glow, glacial blue in color, like the color of my own eyes. This human was the holder of my soul; the one who controlled the day, while I roamed the nights while he slept. His eyes flew open wide locked on mine and he held out his right hand towards me as if trying to touch me. This was the chance to finally join as we should be and I reached out and took his hand. The glow intensified into a unifying fire and with a detonation that shook the heavens, everything went dark.
I felt like I was going to fly apart, my body was locked into a rictus of a type of pain that wasn't physical but deeply spiritual. Then a shadowy form appeared in front of me, almost eight feet tall in height. It had eyes the color of glacial waters as it looked down at me and its eyes started to glow in blue fire. This was me; the other half of me, that I could only feel in dreams at night while I slept. He was huge and looked demonic as a shadow with glowing eyes. For some reason I had to reach out to him and I stretched out my hand towards the shadows. The blazing blue eyes got wider and he reached out as well and our hands met. Then there was blackness.
I'm sure how long I was out, but when I came to, I was in my bed. I felt odd, but I couldn't quite put my finger on why exactly. The only light filtering into the den was the light of the moon outside and it cast strange, silver illumination on everything. ”You're awake." Said a relieved voice.
I turned my head to find Terra sitting beside me on the bed, watching me intently. ”How long was I out?” I asked.
”Only a couple of hours, it's not even 3am yet. How do you feel?" she asked curiously.
”Very... strange?” I murmured questioningly.
She chuckled beside me a laid a large hand on my brow. "Just wait, you haven't felt strange yet love. I'm sorry to say that the next few weeks probably won't be very pleasant. I've yet to meet anyone who would volunteer for it a second time." She said with laughter in her voice. “I’ll try to keep you as comfortable as I can, but the main thing is going to be keeping you well fed, and even with feeding you well, you're going to look like a starvation victim when it's over. For now, I recommend sleep my mate. The rest will do you good. We will see how things are in the morning.” And with that, she curled around me holding me in her.arms as her gentle purrs carried us both off to sleep.
November 16th 2016
I wake the next morning to what felt like body pains from a major case of the flu. I literally ached all over and I felt quite warm all over as well. I rolled out of bed with a groan of discomfort and found an old pair of pajama bottoms. I pulled them on and noticed they seemed a bit snug and looking down I realized that they only came to the bottom of my calves and were tight across the butt and thighs. Dismissing it as them having shrunk, I found a large pan of oatmeal on the stove filled with apples and berries and nuts and a note beside it.
Jay,
Be sure to eat as much of this as you can, you're going to need all the fuel your body can get. I'll bring home some painkillers to help with the aches a little later. Your best option is eating and sleeping for now. I love you.
Terra
I looked at the pan of oatmeal and blanched slightly. That was A LOT of oatmeal! I spooned out a big bowl and started to eat while my fogged brain tried to make sense of everything. I honestly didn't realize when I refilled my bowl three times, finally scraping the bottom ofthe pan. Huh, I guess I was hungry. Once I finished the oatmeal, a wave of fatigue hit me like an ocean wave and I barely made it back to bed before falling back into slumber. There were brief flashes of someone waking me up, Terra I think, and forcing me to drink water and at least eat soup before darkness claimed me again.
November 17th 2016
Today, more flashes of consciousness with someone force feeding me food of some kind when all I wanted to do was sleep... Why couldn't they just let me sleep?
November 18th 2016
I woke up this morning ravenous. Terra was prepared and the table was filled with an assortment of food and drink. I barely noticed the pain in my body the hunger was so bad. I managed to get out of bed with Terra's help. I looked down- at her with a grateful smile before my stomach made a sound that demanded attention. I barely sat down before I started to eat with an intensity only a starving man would have. It didn't take long to polish off everything on the table. With the worst of the hunger taken care of, I could think clearly again and I looked around. How long had I been asleep?
"What day is it hon?" I tried to say but only a raspy, deep voice came out. I blinked and tried to clear my throat.
”Shhh don't strain your voice, your changes are coming fairly fast and it's almost all we can do to keep you hydrated and fed.” She said affectionately "It is Friday the 18th. You've been sleeping for the better part of two days.” She reached out and took my hand in her smaller one and... Wait... Smaller one? I looked down to see her hand dwarfed in mine and my eyes widened. I stood up again remembering something else and realized I was looking down at her, and she, up at me. Her head was only to about the top of my chest. She watched me both amused and worried ”Well, I knew you would get bigger, but I didn't think it would be quite this big." And then she gingerly put her arms around me to give me a light hug and I hugged her back also noticing that she felt smaller against me. But before I could look closer at this revelation a wave of fatigue hit me and Terra escorted me back to bed.
November 19th 2016
I woke up groggy and very uncomfortable. I couldn't lie on my back at all, I kept grazing against something very tender and each time I would cry out when it happened. I finally got out of bed with a groan and then Terra was there lending me her strength and support. She fed me again, and again I ate like I was starving. She sat across from me smiling "Well, it looks like it's official, you're going to be Korrrona'stha after all." She said with a grin. I gave her a quizzical look, at least I think I did, my face felt strange. ”Your wings have started to grow in." she said in explanation.
"Do you have a mirror?" I rasped.
"Jay, it probably isn't a good idea to look, it might upset you. You look a bit like an unfinished sculpture. It's been know to upset some people to see a change only partially through, but it is your call love.” She said sincerely.
I thought about it for a minute but then I was hungry again and forgot about it while I ate more. Shortly after I was done, another wave of fatigue hit me causing my whole body to ache and Terra led me back to bed again. I leaned down and kissed her muzzle. "Thank you for watching over me." I growled out before lying down again.
"It is what mates do my love.” She laid her hand on my forehead and it felt wonderfully cool on my skin. Once again darkness claimed me.
November 20th 2016
I woke up screaming in agony. My legs felt like they were breaking and on fire all at the same time. The pain was intense and all I could do was howl in pain and anguish until Terra rushed in. She saw what was happening and quickly retrieved a syringe and placed it in my arm. Liquid ice flowed through my veins and darkness took me.
November 24th 2016
More days of waking up screaming in pain. Legs, arms, hips, back, head, face all took turns trying to make me want to die. Vague memories of food and water then darkness again. I'm sure Terra was my saving angel. Without her I would happily die. I hang on for her and her alone now. Surely pain can't last forever can it?
November 28th 2015
No pain. I'm floating in a sea of cool darkness. For once nothing hurts and it's heaven compared to what I've been through. Am I dead I wonder? Then I hear it, the Lub... Lub... Lub... of my heart beating. The sound seems to pulse in my ears. I hear a constant beeping sound that is quite annoying; it seems to be coming from a light far away in the darkness. I swim lazily towards that light hoping that maybe, if I can get there, I can make that annoying beeping stop.
I open my eyes slowly and then blink several times to clear away the odd blurring that one gets after sleeping too long. I instantly go cross-eyed as I see a long, grey something directly in my line of sight. I try to lick my lips and I see something snake out in front of the long grey thing and feel wetness on my nose. I try to focus my eyes and realize I'm looking at my own muzzle. I try to reach up to touch it but my arms feel like lead weights and won't move. I focus on things beyond my muzzle and notice I'm in what looks like a hospital room. The annoying beeping sound is an EKG monitor beside me. After I lick my nose for the second time I notice the smells in the room. Antiseptic, alcohol, home... Home? I look around following my nose and see Terra asleep on a chair in the room. Ahhhh that is what I register as home, how interesting. I try to sit up but can't move. I'm getting odd sensory input from things I didn't have before I think. One is particularly annoying as it itches like you wouldn't believe. I try to move whatever it is and something flickers up into my line of vision. I focus on it and realize it's a tail... MY tail... Concentrating a little bit it moves. Huh, neat, I have a tail! I hear movement and my ears swivel towards it, that is another odd sensation. Looking in the direction of the noise I see Terra, awake and watching me.
I managed to rasp out ”I take it my change didn't quite go as planned?" Even this little bit made me feel tired.
”Shhh love, don't strain yourself. Your changes finished last night. You've been unconscious for almost a week now. We couldn't get enough calories into you since your change had more to change actually. We eventually had to put you on two full bore IV's just to keep you from completely crashing." She said with a haunted look in her eyes as she walked over. She took my hand in hers before saying ”Your heart stopped once... I thought I had lost you." She sobbed as tears freely flowed into the fur of her cheeks. “Then suddenly it started to beat again."
I tried to squeeze her hand in return but even that was an effort. "I'm guessing I'm not much to look at right now eh?" I rumbled out quietly.
She laughed a little between sniffling ”You are a tad malnourished love. It is going to take a little time to get meat back on your bones. As soon as you can stand unaided again, we will work on physical therapy and get you back into shape my mate.” She said with warm affection.
"Before that, do you think I could get something to eat?” I whined. "I'm famished.”
December 1st 2016
It took four days before I could walk on my own again and even then not very well. I felt like I was walking on the ball of my feet the entire time and my new tail, which was supposed to help me balance on these new feet, kept trying to do its own thing and, more often than not, I ended up on my muzzle. On the up side, my wings naturally stayed out of the way, unless I was falling and then they would flap frantically to try to keep my aloft. This of course used muscles I had never had before in my back and chest which not only felt weird, also occasionally pulled and tweaked something. I felt like a complete failure for not being able to control my own body and would have hit a depressing low if not for Terra. She was at my side all the time helping in every way she could, even if it was just moral support. Eventually I managed to learn how to walk again and now demolish things with my tail. I found if I stopped trying to control everything, things like my tail and my wings would respond naturally.
I finally had time to explore my new body in detail one evening. Looking in the full length mirror was an interesting act of surprises and disbelief. My body was now covered in a very dense and thick coat of deep, dark grey fur. If you looked closely you could see it actually had an odd fluctuating pattern to it of lighter and darker places that broke up the uniformed pattern almost like camouflage. My eyes were glacial blue and cat slitted liked the rest of the clan. I had a row of spikes on my eye ridges and along my jawline. My ears were long and tapered and my muzzle was lined with a vicious assortment of sharp teeth. My body was still a bit emaciated, but there were outlines of the beginning of muscles. The next, shoulder, chest and back muscles were denser due to the wings. The wing membranes were a shade of black that would blend with the night sky and the "fingers" ‘between them where furred the same color as the rest of my body. My new height bordered on eight feet and my shoulders were considerably wider than they used to be for the extra muscles needed for flight. My tail was long and quite nimble. I could feel a row of spikes lying below the fur, that if I concentrated hard enough would rise straight up and follow the line of my back up to my head showing long, wicked spikes the entire length. My feet were HUGE. The swords that were claws were retractable, just as the ones on my hand were but on the feet they could gouge holes in rock without even marring their sheen. The mid-spike at the top of the digigraded joint was long and also wickedly pointed and sharp. The one thing that gave me pause was my, ummm, maleness. The males of The People were all the same in the fact that they had no external testicular organs. Those were internal to keep them from harm and our reproductive organ was much like that of a canine. It hid in a furry sheath that blended with the rest of the body fur. The ruff around the neck and the crotch had much thicker and longer fur giving an appearance of hair and furry loincloth. Peeing was a bit different, well not by much, just the new, umm, package would have to slide out of the sheath and then could be manipulated into the desired position for relieve one's self. The construction of it was tapered at the end and had odd striations around the shaft like soft ridges of a sort. I had to admit, if l met me in a dark alley I would probably pee myself. I still had more frame than muscle, but with the amount of food I was eating now, I would either get fat, of well muscled soon. They had already arranged for another Korrrona’stha to come in the next few weeks to train me.
December 5th 2016
As I lay in bed with Terra, something kept tickling at my new nose, something thick and cloying
and not unpleasant at all. I sniffed at the air and turning my head found my nose buried in Terra's fur. I inhaled and she smelled wonderful, but that was only part of the scent that seemed to cloud my mind. She was asleep, but was moving a lot in her dreams. I continued to sniff down her body and the further down I went, the strong the smell became until my nose found the source of the smell. A scent of wanting and need came from the center of her feminine-ness. Unconsciously my tongue snaked out of my muzzle and lapped at it causing her to gasp and arch her back. Her eyes fluttered open and a lower purring growl escaped her throat as I continued to lap at her. She started to writhe on the bed making moaning purrs of pleasure. All of this caused me to slide free of my sheath and rapidly become quite aroused. I hadn't become aroused in my new body before and a deep thrumming started in the center of my chest making me feel like I was vibrating all over. The odd striations, on my now erect member, gorged themselves with blood and became hard swirls of patterns on my shaft as it started to ache with its own need.
Not long after, Terra let out a long, low growl and rolled over onto all fours, her upper body low to the bed with her hips and ass high in the air. Her tail flagged high in invitation as her swollen sex called to me. Without even a second thought, I placed the head of my throbbing length against the petals of her swollen flower and gently pushed. She let out a long low groan as I started to enter her. I don't know how I had ever pleased her as a human, because now, she was tight around my as I slid deeper into her, the raised ridges of my shaft apparently something she enjoyed because the scent of her desire and need flooded our den as her claws came forth and buried themselves into the bed and floor beneath holding herself steadily in place. Finally I entered her fully hilting myself, as far as I could, inside her. Her delicious heat pulled at my senses and I dug my foot claws into the stone of the floor as I draped myself over her and her tail curved around me twining itself with mine. I nuzzled at her neck and ear as my hands sought her breasts and teased and massaged the flesh I found there. Her nipples rapidly became around and as hard as the stone beneath us and I continued to tease them as I started to rock myself inside her slowly at first relishing the gasps and moans she made at each thrust. Finally she growled at me and moaned out "Faster..." and so I moved inside her with wild abandonment and I felt it when she reached her peak because her entire body clenched and clenched around me as well forcing me to give her everything I had inside and we both arched out heads to the sky and howled our joined pleasure to the sky, our voices twining in harmony as we told the Earth and Sky of our love for each other. Finally we both collapsed to the bed breathing hard. She curled up in my arms and my wings instinctively curled around the both of use like a blanket as her purrs of contentment matched mine and we drifted off into sleep.
December 13th 2016
Today the other Korrrona’stha arrived. He is a wall of a person. His fur is midnight black and his amber eyes almost seem to glow out from his dark fur. We are about the same size in height but, he has much more muscle built up than I do. I've been eating like a horse since I awake from the change and I'm still rather scrawny, but it's slowly getting better. His introduced himself Damon Shade and then began to look me over carefully. "Still recovering from the change eh? Well we will take care of that. I've got a special diet regime that has worked with two other Korrrona’stha. We will have you back into peak shape in no time. I found out he was the Korrrona’stha for the Montana clan and he'd been about his job for 53 years so far. We spent the first couple of weeks on his special diet and exercise regime that pretty much had me passing out exhausted every night for bed. The thing was, it was working. I was building muscle mass fairly quickly and the special wing exercises he had me doing were building up muscles I had never had before. After several weeks of this he decided I should have enough muscle now to attempt flying.
Let's just say flying lessons didn't go well. My first attempt, I broke my arm. It kind of went downhill from there. I could tell he was getting frustrated with me, and I was trying, but how the hell was I supposed to learn how to fly when humans have never flown, and in my mind I was still partially human and the idea terrified that part of me. Finally he got fed up one day when I was doing particularly poorly. Growling he grabbed my tail and shot off into the air with a powerful thrust of his wings. It is a good thing our tails are so firmly attached and well muscled or he would have torn it off. He fought for every foot of altitude carrying our combined weight but before I knew it, we were past the rim of the crater and kept going. I might have babbled incoherently a time or two flailing in the air wondering what the hell he was doing, until we were high enough for the crater to look like a rabbit hole and then he dropped me...
MY brain gibbered in terror as I plummeted towards the crater below and suddenly I slowed with a BOOM of sound. Blinking I looked to my left and saw my wings fully extended and bellied out with wind and instead of falling, I was gliding... It was AMAZING!!! A set of fins had popped up out of my forearms and one on my tail connected to the spines there. With a twitch of either tail or arms I would turn and move one way or another. Damon swooped in beside me grinning and yelled ”Sometimes, to learn how to swim, you have to be thrown in the deep end!"
April 2nd 2016
We spent the next several weeks learning the in's and out's of flight. How to take off, how to
land, aerial acrobatics, learning to land on the side of a mountain and anchor using not only the feet claws but the leg spin as well for stability, mock dogfights... It was during one of our mock fights that something terrifying happened. I spit fire for the first time... I nearly burned my fur off in my shock and Damon had to roll quickly off to the right to keep from being burned. That led us to lessons in how to use one's scorrratha or soul fire. It was a bit like making yourself vomit and spit at the same time and it took a lot of practice. Oddly enough, one's scorrratha was the same color as one’s eyes and was like a mixture of acid and fire rolled into one. We trained in all a total of three months in everything one might need to know to be a good Korrrona’stha. Finally, as the spring thaw was coming to the mountains, Damon pronounced me ready to assume my duties and responsibilities finally.
There was a huge celebration that night and everyone joined in. There was song and dance. There was food and drink, and Damon and I held a mock dogfight with flame and claw. When we landed to the roar of The People, Damon turned and presented me with a package. Opening the package I found a beaten copper ring with three feathers attached to it. I looked at him curiously and he took it and fastened it to the thumb joint of my right wing. ”This is your badge of office, you have earned it now.” He said with a smile.
“Where is yours?" I asked.
"Oh, I am no longer the active Korrrona’stha.” He said ”I trained my replacement 4 years ago and now I only act in an advisory position and train new Korrrona’stha when they come along. Welcome to The People brother. Welcome home."
Later that evening back in our den, Terra looked at the ring around my wingclaw and smiled. ”I guess your pictures were right.” She said with a laugh. "It looks like all of our dreams came true." She said with a mysterious smile on her muzzle.
I nodded absently ”It does look that way.” I said settling on the couch, re positioning my wings so as not to bind them up or shred the couch in the process.
Terra continued to grin as she sat beside her mate. She took his large hand in hers, and placed it on her belly and laid her hand over it. "ALL of our dreams." She said emphasizing the first word.
Coming out of my thoughts I looked over at her curiously and then down at my hand on her belly and suddenly things clicked together and my eyes widened. ”You mean? You're???"
She shook her head grinning ”Not me love, we... We are pregnant.”
January 1st 2036
I sat on the ledge looking down at the village below. My leg spines were dug deep into the rock of the mountain anchoring me in place like a gargoyle. My wings were wrapped around me like a great cloak blocking most of the winter storm as it raged around me. Today was my daughter's 18th birthday and her official right of passage into adulthood and her official apprenticeship to be Korrrona’stha would start tomorrow. Kalina hardly needed an apprenticeship since she had practically followed me to work everyday since she was old enough to fly. She watched me mediate disputes, run off poachers from our mountains, keep nosy humans from snooping around and keep peace in the village. Our village now numbered in the 40's and, while we still had plenty of room, too many more and it would get more difficult to hide everyone. The next generation would end up forging a new clan with members of other clans in Alaska of all places. It was still one of the untouched pristine lands where our kind could hide in peace. Perhaps one day we would number enough to make humans see reason that not all that is different is bad, but I wondered if that would be in my lifetime.
I heard the stroke of wings and a crunch as leg spines sunk into rock beside me. I looked over at the grey and red mottled youngling perched beside me raising an eyebrow in question.
"Father, mom says if you're late, she's going to shave your tail!” Kalina said, a giggle hiding behind her words.
I snorted retaining my gruff demeanor as I watched the village. ”I'm not afraid of your mother." I rumbled.
”Riiiiiiggght..." Kalina said in a way only a teenager seems to be able to master. ”Come on Papa, you know they won't let me start the ceremony if Jeremiah Stonemist isn't there." She whined, also in a way only a teenager could master.
”Where is your brother?” I asked.
"Momma has him tending Elder Beatrice in the clinic. Her delivery date is in the next couple of days, and you know how she gets." Kalina giggled.
I raised an eyebrow at my daughter and she had the good grace to look embarrassed. "Tell your mom I'll be right there. I just wanted to keep an eye on the weather."
Kalina hugged my neck, kissed my cheek, and took off in a swirl of wings and snow. Everything seemed so long ago now and it was really only about 19 years actually. Now I had three younglings. Well, one youngling and two newly minted adults to worry about. I never would have imagined my life would have gone in this direction, but there is an old saying ”Life is what happens while you're making plans." If that isn't the God's honest truth, I don't know what is. Terra is already hinting that she is ready for child number four even though I warned her that the next one might wind up in Alaska. Her response? "Then we will have to have two more so the first one won't be lonely." Do you see what I have to put up with? I smiled to myself. The soul wants what the soul wants; after all, we are but energy floating along the river of life until we find the energy, the soul, which calls to us. I guess if I had to give advice, it would be to follow your heart, because it follows the soul.
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